Haunted Memories
by AimesL
Summary: Sequel to Wall of Silence. Can a young agent overcome his past and find peace or will the memories that haunt him destroy what he has worked so hard to gain?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sue Thomas FBEYE and Criminal Minds do not belong to me.

**Chapter One**

"Have a seat, Jack." Demetrius Gans gestured to the chair across from his desk.  
Jack Hudson shut the office door and settled in front of his supervisor.  
D was silent.

"Is something wrong?"  
D shook his head. "No, not at all. Are you familiar with the BAU?"  
Jack frowned and furrowed his brow in thought for a moment then shook his head.  
"The BAU is the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit stationed in Quantico. It consists of three teams. They travel the country to assist local law enforcement and FBI teams in tracking serial criminals by providing a profile of the unsub or unknown subject. The lead team is led by Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner. They have a pretty amazing track record."  
Jack nodded slightly his face showing his confusion.

D rubbed a hand over his face and leaned back in his chair. "The thing is, Jack, all three BAU teams are being run ragged. Their services are in much too high a demand, but the bureau refuses to add more teams due to the budget. We're in danger of losing three teams of excellent agents to exhaustion and stress. The higher-ups are toying with the idea of having one or two agents on every team trained as a profiler with the rest of the team having a basic knowledge of profiling. As a trial run of this idea they want to send two agents from Agent Hotchner's team to train with your team."

Jack nodded. "I guess if adding new teams is out of the question this is the next best solution. How long will this training last?"  
D shrugged. "For now they're planning on sending the agents here for one month. When they arrive you can work out a training schedule with them and I'll do my best to keep your caseload light."  
D reached across the desk and handed Jack two file folders. "Here are the files of the two agents who are coming." He smiled. "If you take a look at the second file you'll see why they chose him in particular."  
Jack opened the file labeled Dr. Spencer Reid, and quickly scanned the first page of information.  
His wide eyes snapped up to meet D's amused gaze. "There's _two_ of them?!"

"Listen up, everyone." Aaron Hotchner said as he strode into the room where his worn-out team was gathered around the roundtable, coffee cups clutched in their hands. "Things are going to be a little different for the next month."  
The agents around the table shared concerned glances. 'Different' usually didn't turn out well for them.

"Different how?" Derek Morgan was the first to speak, his dark eyes filled with concern and suspicion as he looked from his teammates to their leader.  
His body had stiffened, bracing itself for a blow.

"You all know that all the BAU teams are being run into the ground. And there are still dozens of requests for help that have to be turned down each month. Due to budget concerns the bureau will not authorize expanding the BAU, so the Director is considering making a few changes."  
Hotch watched as every one of his agents tensed at the word "changes." He could see the defiance growing in their eyes and quickly held up a placating hand.  
"Relax. All they're considering is having one or two agents on every team trained as a profiler and giving other agents a basic knowledge of profiling. Their hopes are that this would eventually cut our travel down to one or two weeks each month. As a trial start to this program, Dave and I will be spending the next month training with a team in New York City while Morgan and Reid do the same in D.C. J.J, Kate, and Garcia you are free to take a week's vacation after which you will work here on developing a curriculum, as well as, consulting on cases."  
Hotch paused and studied the faces of his agents.  
They were much less hostile now, but he could still see the uncertainty.  
He briefly pinched the bridge of his nose. "A change in pace will be good for all of us. We'll actually get to sleep regular hours. I can't remember the last time we did that for a week, much less a month."

One side of Spencer Reid's mouth quirked up in a half smile. "We haven't slept regular hours for an entire week at one time since I joined the bureau eight years ago."  
Morgan chuckled. "That would explain why Hotch doesn't remember, genius." One hand reached out to ruffle Reid's hair, but the younger man ducked away quickly.  
Hotch's dark eyes softened slightly at the teasing between the younger men, it was a sign that his team was still coping well.

"Morgan, Reid, the team you'll be working with is a little unusual."  
Morgan frowned and glanced at his young colleague before looking back at Hotch. "Unusual how?"  
"They're known as the best team in the bureau and they've been together much longer than most teams. They've had a rough time though." Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose briefly. "We'll start with the original team. Team leader and former sniper, Special Agent Jackson Hudson."  
Hotch clicked a button on the remote in his hand and a picture of a smiling dark-haired man appeared on the screen in front of him.

An audible gasp from every female echoed in the room.  
Aaron Hotchner raised a dark eyebrow questioningly while the other men looked at each other in confusion.  
Penelope Garcia recovered first. "Sorry, sir. But, oh, those eyes!" She said fanning herself.  
Hotch glanced back up at the dark brown eyes on the screen, frowning in confusion.  
"Explosives expert Special Agent Robert Manning." Another click of the remote brought up the picture of a dimpled green-eyed man followed by another gasp.  
Morgan rolled his eyes while Dave Rossi covered his smile with his hand.  
"Ladies, try to control yourselves, please." Hotch said stoically, keeping his eyes on the screen.  
"Special Agent and now Supervisor Demetrius Gans. Special Agent James Shepherd. Languages expert Special Agent Myles Leland the Third. Tech expert Special Agent Tara Williams. And rotor Lucy Dotson."

Aaron Hotchner turned back to face his team as the last photo clicked into place.  
His face was somber. "Special Agent James Shepherd was killed in the line of duty."  
A heavy silence fell over the room as every eye turned back to the smiling young man on the screen.  
"He left behind a wife and young son."  
Hotch was quiet for a long moment before clearing his throat and continuing. "His position was never refilled on the team, but they did later add Special Investigative Analyst Sue Thomas. Sue is deaf and was hired to help in surveillance by reading lips. She has since proven to be invaluable to the team in every area. Five years ago, Jack Hudson and Sue Thomas were married. They now have three children. Sue no longer works in the field, but transcribes videos for and consults with teams around the country from her home.  
Four years ago Bobby Manning and Tara Williams were married. They have twin boys. Tara also now works as a consultant. Lucy Dotson, now Lucy Davis, also left the team six months ago after giving birth to her first child. Three years ago two rookie agents were added to the team. Josiah Carter and Murdoch Jamison."

Hotch hesitated, glancing at Reid. "The minimum age requirements were waived for Special Agent Jamison. He has been in the bureau for three years and is only twenty-four years old. He graduated high school at fifteen. When he was nineteen he earned two bachelors, one in psychology and one in United States history. At twenty-one he earned a masters in linguistics and one in trauma counseling then joined the bureau. He is currently working on a PhD in psychology."  
"No way." Morgan's eyes were wide in disbelief as they moved from Hotch to Reid. "There's _two_ of them?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Rise and shine, Einstein."  
Murdoch Jamison jerked awake as his roommate pounded on the bedroom door. He sat up in bed, his heart pounding in his chest.  
"Murdoch?"  
"Yeah, yeah I'm awake." Murdoch grimaced at the shakiness of his voice.  
"Well, get a move on. We have to meet the BAU agents at the hotel."  
Murdoch listened as Josiah moved down the hall. He sucked in a deep breath and ran a hand through his sweaty black hair, once again grateful that he had long ago learned not to scream during the nightmares.

The young man glanced at the clock and sighed. He would have to rush if he wanted a shower before heading to the hotel. _Why do we have to meet them anyways?_ He wondered. _Oh, yeah._ He reminded himself. _Because we're young, single, and have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning._  
Murdoch rolled his eyes as he remembered Bobby's teasing words from the day before. Yawning, Murdoch untangled himself from the twisted sheets, randomly grabbed clothes, and stumbled to the bathroom.

Josiah Carter poured himself a cup of coffee and listened to his roommate drag himself to the bathroom. He shook his head and sighed, wishing he knew what secrets haunted his friend's sleep.

"Explain to me again why we have to stay in a hotel 49 minutes away from home." Spencer Reid asked as he slid one suitcase into the trunk of Derek Morgan's car.  
The older man sighed. "Because Hotch thought it would be easier on us if we didn't have all that drive time. The man is determined that we're going to get rest."  
Morgan lifted Reid's extra suitcase and grunted at the weight. "After the first week we can decide if we want to keep the hotel rooms or commute." Morgan shrugged. "Maybe we'll actually be able to do some sightseeing too. Think about it. We've been to every major city in this country, but haven't seen any of the sights. We've never been able to go somewhere and just enjoy ourselves."  
Morgan followed the young man's forlorn gaze to the extra suitcase and he chuckled. "Don't worry, kid. If you run out of books to read I'll bring you home for another load. Or we'll find a store or library. I'm sure you can tell me exactly how many bookstores and libraries there are in D.C and where they're located. We'll make time to visit a few."  
Morgan grinned as his friend visibly brightened at the prospect and opened his mouth. He held up a hand before his colleague could begin spouting off every bookstore in D.C.  
"Besides, your twin will be there I'm sure he'll share his books with you."  
Reid huffed in frustration as they climbed into the car. "Why do you keep calling him that? We look nothing alike. He…" Morgan raised a hand again stopping Reid from listing all of the physical differences between him and the young FBI agent. "I know, genius. I saw the picture too. But you got to admit that it is scary to think that there are two of you."  
Reid crossed his arms across his chest his eyebrows pulled down in a pouting frown. "I see nothing scary about it."

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Here you go." Josiah held an energy drink out to Murdoch as he entered the kitchen. He shook his head as he watched him chug it desperately. "Sue txt. She wants us to pick up some apples for the picnic before heading to the hotel."  
Murdoch nodded silently. He grabbed a protein bar out of the cabinet and slung a backpack over one shoulder. "I'm ready."

Derek Morgan leaned against the doorway of the adjoining hotel room watching Reid. "What do you want to do today, kid?" Before the other man could answer a knock sounded on Morgan's door. He shared a curious look with Reid before heading back into his room.  
Derek peered through the peephole and grinned when he recognized the two rookie agents. He unlatched the chain and swung the door open.

"Agent Morgan?" The taller of the two asked.  
"Yes."  
"I'm Special Agent Josiah Carter and this is Special Agent Murdoch Jamison."  
"Pleased to meet ya." Derek shook their hands and stepped back. "Come on in. Reid," he called as the two young men entered the room. "Put your book down and get in here."  
Josiah grinned and glanced at Murdoch as the tall, thin agent came through the connecting bathroom.  
"We came to make sure you have everything you need here and to invite you to a team picnic we're having. Jack thought it might be good for us all to meet before Monday and he wanted to talk to you about a training schedule. But he said to tell you that if you have other plans, that's fine, he'll just meet you Monday morning."  
Morgan glanced questioningly at Reid then nodded. "We don't have plans. A picnic sounds great."

"Doch! Doch!"  
The minute the four agents stepped from the car at the park a tiny blonde-haired little girl who didn't look big enough to be walking made a beeline for them. Her soft lisping voice drawing their attention.  
"Well, hey there little lady." Morgan said.  
The child completely ignored him as she ran past him and into Murdoch's waiting arms.  
"This is Anna Grace." Murdoch said from where he was kneeling down hugging the toddler. "She's deaf. She's learning to read lips and sign." He gently eased the girl back.  
"Anna Grace, this is our new friend Mr. Morgan."  
Derek watched the strange mixture of speech and sign language. Murdoch stood with the child in his arms and she looked toward Morgan. His gaze collided with the biggest brown eyes he had ever seen.  
"She must Hudson's daughter."  
"Yeah," Murdoch grinned. "The eyes give it away every time."  
Reid circled the car and came to stand beside him. "The photos of Agents Hudson and Manning nearly made every female on our team faint."  
Josiah laughed. "Yeah. Between Jack's eyes and Bobby's dimples we get whatever info we want from ladies."  
Anna Grace shifted her gaze from Morgan to Reid. Her blonde brows furrowed in concentration as she raised her hands and hooked one tiny pointer finger over another before turning her hands and repeating the action.  
"That's the sign for 'friend'." Murdoch explained.  
Morgan and Reid grinned and mimicked the gesture, bringing a wide smile to the toddler's face.

"So, what do you think?" Morgan sat next to Reid at the picnic table where the young man was surveying the activity around him.  
"Hotch was right. They are unusual. I think they might be even more like a family than we are."  
"Nah, they just seem that way because of all the little ones." Derek hesitated slightly. "What do you think of the kid?" He nodded toward where Murdoch Jamison sat holding two-year old Anna Grace.  
Reid studied the young man. "He's hiding something." He spoke quietly. "Something is hurting him."  
Morgan sighed and nodded. He had hoped that his perception was wrong. But Reid had seen it too.  
Beneath the nearly impenetrable wall in the young agent's blue eyes was a sadness deeper than anything Morgan had seen before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Derek Morgan stretched lazily as he rolled over in the bed. His eyes blinked open and glanced around the hotel room. He took a minute to remind himself that he was in D.C and that he wasn't chasing a psychotic killer. He yawned and rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling.  
Something felt strange. A slow smile spread across his face as he realized what it was. For the first time since he could remember his body was waking up on its own instead of being rudely dragged from sleep by an alarm or cell phone. His eyes started to drift close again then suddenly sprung open. They were supposed to meet Murdoch at eleven. Raising himself up on his elbows, Morgan's eyes sought out the clock. Ten a.m. He sighed and rolled out of bed.

"Hey, kid. You awake?" Morgan called as he stepped into the bathroom connecting his and Reid's rooms. He peered through the open door and spotted the blanket covered mound on the bed. Chuckling, Morgan decided to let the kid sleep longer and quietly closed the door to start his shower.

"You up, pretty boy?" Morgan called out as he dried off and pulled his clothes on.  
Pulling open the door, he sighed when he spotted Reid still sound asleep. "Come on, kid. Time to get up. Murdoch will be here in forty-five minutes." Morgan shook the thin shoulder.  
Reid groaned and rolled over, burrowing deeper into the blankets.  
"Nuh-uh." Morgan shook his head. "You're the one who lit up like a Christmas tree when Murdoch suggested going to the museum while the others were at church. There's no way I'm going to let you abandon me with your twin."  
"'s not my twin." Reid mumbled.  
"Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, kid. Now come on, rise and shine." Morgan grasped the blankets firmly and yanked them off the younger man.  
"Morgan!"  
"Morning, sunshine." Morgan smirked. "Hop in the shower. I'll go get you some coffee."

"So, Smart Boy." Morgan looked across the small café table at Murdoch and hid a smile when the blue eyes snapped up in surprise before the carefully maintained wall fell back into place.  
"Jack said you're pretty interested in profiling. Is there any particular area that interests you?"  
"Handwriting analysis and geographical profiling."  
Morgan grinned at the quick answer and glanced at Reid. "Well, I guess you two will be spending a lot of time together. If the bureau decides to continue with this plan would you be interested in being fully trained as a profiler?"  
For a brief moment the sadness in Murdoch's blue eyes was replaced with a sparkle. "Definitely."

Morgan stifled a groan as he was dragged to yet another exhibit at the National Museum of American History. He superstitiously pulled out his cell phone and snapped another photo.  
So far neither of the young men had noticed his picture-taking. Morgan almost felt bad about it, but he knew that Garcia would kill him if she found out that he had passed up an opportunity to get pictures of a happy, relaxed Reid.  
Though he was tired and more than ready to get out of the museum, Morgan had to admit that he had enjoyed the day more than he thought possible.  
It was nice to see Reid relaxed for a change and Murdoch was a walking encyclopedia of little known historical facts and stories. Morgan was surprised that the kid was a great storyteller; he just wished he knew what was causing the underlying sadness that surrounded the young agent.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Josiah Carter was startled out of a sound sleep. He tensed in bed, straining his ears to pick up any sound in the dark apartment.  
The young man groaned when he realized that what had awakened him was his roommate moving down the hall toward the kitchen.  
Rising up on his elbows, Josiah glanced over at the alarm clock. 3:00 a.m. He contemplated joining Murdoch, but knew from experience that it would do no good. His friend was not willing to share whatever interrupted his sleep nearly every night. Josiah knew that Murdoch would fix himself a cup of herbal tea and lay down with a book until the herbs and exhaustion combined to put him back to sleep.  
Sighing heavily, Josiah sent up a silent prayer for his friend and rolled over, hoping for a few more hours of sleep before the alarm woke him.

Special Agent Derek Morgan shifted the two trays of coffee in his hands as he made his way down the now familiar hallways of the Hoover Building toward the bullpen where Hudson's team worked.  
Five days in D.C and they had settled into a routine. Morgan and Reid were able to sleep in or spend the morning relaxing at the hotel while the team worked on case files. At mid-morning the two profilers would show up armed with coffee and the training would begin.

Derek was surprised to realize that when the time came to leave at the end of the month it would be hard to say goodbye to his new friends and routine. He was astonished at how drastically the regular hours of sleep and the break from dealing with the worst of crimes had improved his outlook.  
His only problem was that the extra sleep had made Reid extremely hyper. Morgan was glad that his friend had decided to go into the office early with Murdoch today. He didn't think he could handle listening to the kid recite an entire Dr. Who episode again.

Morgan paused in the doorway of the bullpen, his dark eyes falling on Reid and Murdoch huddled over a large map. He grinned. The two geniuses had hit it off and become nearly inseparable.  
His smile faded somewhat when he noticed Hudson's new rotor, twenty-five year old Tory Mitchell sitting nearby watching the young men intently. Her green eyes seemed to never leave Reid. It was obvious to everyone, except Reid, that she was more than a little interested in the young doctor.  
Morgan's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched the three younger adults. He knew that he was being overly protective, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't handle seeing his friend's heart get broken again.

"Hey, the coffee man's here." Bobby Manning clapped his hands and stood when he noticed Morgan, a wide grin spreading across his face.  
Derek smiled. He and Bobby had hit it off from the moment Agent Manning had greeted Reid as the other half of the Wonder Twins.  
Bobby's long legs crossed the room in no time and he snatched up the coffee that Derek indicated belonged to him.

Morgan entered the bullpen and made his way to Bobby's desk. He sat the drinks down and perched on the edge of the desk, watching with a bemused smile as everyone except Murdoch gathered eagerly around. Drawn to the hot caffeine fix like moths to a flame.

"Where's Jack?" Morgan glanced around the large room, noticing the absence of the team leader.  
Bobby's grin faltered slightly. "In a meeting with D."  
Morgan nodded and sipped his own coffee his eyes focused across the room where Reid was taking a break from teaching Murdoch geographical profiling and was now performing magic tricks for Tory. He regretted ever telling Reid that chicks dig magic.

Bobby followed the man's gaze and he nudged his new friend with his elbow. "Relax, mate. Tory's a sweetheart. She won't hurt him."

"Listen up, everyone." Jack called as he strode into the bullpen. "We have a case."  
He glanced apologetically at the two visiting agents. "I know you guys are supposed to be on a working vacation. So you don't need to see this. You're free to return to Quantico if you want. We can reschedule the training when this is over."

Morgan glanced at Reid, the stubborn set to the young man's jaw telling exactly what he thought of that suggestion.  
Derek looked back at the team leader and a part of him wanted to walk out the door. Wanted to never know what had brought that haunted look to the agent's dark eyes.  
But the agent in him won out. He crossed his arms and braced himself for the horror he knew was coming and met Jack's eyes. "What do you have?

Jack sighed heavily and turned toward the plasma screen. He picked up a remote and pointed it toward the screen. A picture of a smiling young man appeared.  
"Thirty-year old Brian Todd was reported missing one month ago." Another click of the remote and a second man appeared. "Twenty-nine year old Drew Anderson was reported missing two weeks ago."  
Jack hesitated, glancing around at his team. His gaze lingered on the three youngest members. He knew that the next photos would be the worst they had seen. His concerned gaze turned next to the two visiting agents. They were supposed to be getting a break from this type of horror.

"Brian Todd's body was found two weeks ago. Drew Anderson was found this morning." A click of the remote and the smiling faces were replaced by crime scene photos.  
Jack averted his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He noticed the rest of his team had involuntarily looked away too, but the two BAU agents didn't even blink.

Reid's eyes narrowed as he moved closer to the screen. "One African-American and one Caucasian. But the same level of rage and overkill. Same disposal of the body. Definitely looks like one unsub." He glanced at Morgan who nodded in agreement.  
The senior BAU agent turned to Jack. "We would like to go to the latest crime scene."  
Jack nodded, realizing it would do no good to argue with the two veteran agents.  
He looked over his team and Bobby stood his face slightly pale. "I'll go with them."  
Jack nodded his thanks to his best friend. "Josiah and Murdoch go to coroner's office and talk with the ME. Tory, find out as much as you can about our two victims. Myles and I will go talk to the families."

Special Agent Bobby Manning slid his dark sunglasses over his eyes and clenched his jaw at the sharp smell of blood emanating from the mutilated body that had been tossed in an alley. He watched as Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid squatted next to the body their eyes scanning it.

"Looks like fifty stab wounds." Reid remarked. "And his genitals have been removed."  
"Chopped off is more like it." Morgan shook his head. "This is extreme overkill and rage."  
Reid nodded and stood. "It's personal."  
Morgan sighed heavily and carefully pulled the tarp back over the body before standing. He glanced around the alley. "He wasn't killed here. So the unsub has a vehicle."

"Hey, guys."  
Morgan and Bobby turned at Reid's voice.  
The younger man was peering at something sticking out from under the dumpster the body had been dumped in front of. "What have you got, mate?" Bobby asked as he and Morgan moved to join him.  
Reid tugged on a pair of gloves and slid the object out. He frowned and stood, holding the object out to Morgan.  
It was a plastic encased photo of a smiling little boy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Jack Hudson yawned as he reached for another slice of pizza from the box in the center of the conference table. Taking a bite, he leaned back in his chair and observed the tired agents gathered around the table.  
He frowned. "Where are Bobby and Myles?"  
"Bobby's on the phone with the boys, Tara couldn't get them to bed. Myles left to take Jade over to the Manning house." Murdoch answered absently his eyes glued to the report in his hand.  
Jack nodded his frown deepening as he realized that the young man had not eaten anything. Murdoch always forgot about food and sleep when his active mind fastened onto a case.

The door opened and Bobby came in, looking more haggard then he had just moments before.  
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Everything okay?"  
Bobby shrugged and rubbed a hand over his face. "The tornados are in bed. Myles just dropped Jade off. He's on his way back now."  
Jack nodded in understanding, knowing how much his friend wanted to be home with his family.

His dark eyes turned back toward Murdoch.  
Bobby followed his best friend's concerned gaze and he sighed. Snagging a slice of pizza, he strode across the room to the young genius.  
Standing behind Murdoch, Bobby laid one hand on the young man's shoulder and squeezed gently while the other hand waved the pizza near his nose. "Hey, Einstein, those brain cells of yours need food."  
Murdoch's blue eyes moved with obvious effort away from the file and glanced at the pizza before jumping almost involuntarily back to the file.  
Bobby shook his head and snatched the file out of the young man's hand.  
Ignoring Murdoch's yelp of protest, he replaced the file with the slice of pizza. "Eat and I'll think about giving this back." Bobby waved the file in the air and grabbed his fourth slice of pizza before dropping into an empty chair.

Derek Morgan smiled as he watched the interaction from across the table. He glanced to his side and his grin grew wider when he saw Spencer Reid staring intently at a file, an untouched piece of pizza in his hand.  
What was it about having a high IQ that made these guys so forgetful of everyday necessities?  
Morgan nudged his friend with his elbow. "Hey, kid. I don't think that even you can ingest pizza through your hand."  
"Huh?" Reid looked up, confusion written across his face. He glanced at the slice of pizza in his hand and flushed. "Oh."

"Okay." Jack tossed another mangled paper clip onto the table. "Talk to me. What do we have?"  
"Precious little." Myles Leland spoke from across the room where he was refilling his coffee cup.  
"Brian Todd was single. Coached high school football and taught physical education." Josiah twirled a pencil in his hand as he spoke.  
"Drew Anderson grew up in the foster system. He worked as a 911 dispatcher. His wife Brandy is a nurse. The little boy in the picture is Bray Conner, a foster child who was placed with the Andersons three months ago. His social worker picked him up this afternoon." Murdoch's voice was quiet, his blue eyes glued to the photo of the blond-haired, blue-eyed little boy.

Bobby shook his head, tossing another file down on the table. "There's nothing here that tells us why someone would want to kill these guys."  
"Do the attacks themselves tell us anything?" Jack glanced toward the two profilers.  
"Both of these men were physically fit and active. Subduing and killing them, and then moving the body would require a lot of physical strength. That tells us that this is most likely not the case of a weaker individual targeting and seeking vengeance on the jocks."  
Morgan shifted uncomfortably in his chair at Reid's words.  
His mind flashed back to watching his friend walk unarmed down the street toward an armed teenage killer, deliberately placing his body between Owen Savage and the agents who had guns trained on him.  
"There's got to be something we're missing in their background. Something more to connect them."

Jack nodded and glanced at his watch. 1:00 a.m. He studied the exhausted agents and ran a hand over his face.  
"I don't think we're going to get anywhere else tonight. I want everyone to go home." He glanced briefly at Myles and Bobby. "Get some sleep, have breakfast with your family. We'll be in the bullpen at eight."

"I'll come by your place in the morning to pick up Jade." Myles told Bobby as the two men walked together through the parking garage.  
Bobby shook his head. "Come on over now. Jade would kill me if she found out that you were at home alone and she was in my guest room."  
Myles hesitated. "I don't want to impose."  
Bobby rolled his eyes. "You're family, mate. In more ways than one. It's no imposition." He inclined his head toward his car. "Come on, leave your car here. We can ride in together tomorrow and Jade can spend the day with Tara."

Jack Hudson yawned as he slipped silently into the dark house.  
"It's just me, girl." He whispered as Sue's hearing dog came into the foyer. It was at times like this Jack missed Levi, who had passed peacefully in his sleep from old age, the most. Sadie was a beautiful Australian shepherd and a real sweetheart. But Levi had always seemed able to sense when someone was upset and knew just how to lift their spirits. As Jack quietly closed the door behind him he found himself longing for the quiet comfort of his old buddy.

Blinking back the threatening tears, Jack dropped to one knee and stroked the dog's soft fur.  
"Everybody asleep?"  
The dog whined softly in response.  
"Come on, let's go to bed."  
With Sadie padding at his heels Jack quietly slipped down the hallway to the bedrooms. He paused at the boys' room and glanced in.  
Four-year old Jackson and three-year old Wesley were curled under their matching fire truck blankets sleeping soundly. Jack stepped into the room and pressed a kiss on each of their foreheads.  
Moving across the hall, he stood over the crib and a tender smile crossed his face. Two-year old Anna Grace was curled into a small ball, her purple blanket clutched firmly in one hand.

Feeling weighed down by exhaustion, Jack entered the master bedroom and a chuckle escaped when he saw Sue curled on their bed in the exact position as Anna Grace. Too tired to bother undressing, Jack collapsed on the bed. Within seconds Sue had rolled over and curled into his chest. Smiling, Jack pressed a tender kiss on her hair and fell asleep.

Derek Morgan felt the all too familiar bone-crushing weariness as he dragged himself into the hotel room. He frowned as he glanced at his silent colleague.  
"Reid? You all right?"  
"Hmm?" Reid glanced up.  
"Are you all right?"  
"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine."  
Morgan raised an eyebrow. "Come on now, what's eating at you?"  
Reid shrugged. "It's just…"  
His voice trailed off and Morgan sighed. "Yeah, I know, kid. I was enjoying the break too. I don't think I'm ready to dive back into this either."  
"Should we call Hotch?"  
Morgan thought about that for moment then shook his head. "Nah. It would just make him and Rossi worry. Assuming trouble hasn't found them yet, there's no reason to interrupt their break."  
Reid nodded.  
Morgan clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Go get some sleep, pretty boy. I'm right here if you need me."

Josiah Carter sighed as he followed his roommate into their apartment. He frowned when Murdoch made a beeline for a book.  
"Hey, Jack sent us home to sleep, buddy."  
Murdoch's shoulders slumped and he set the book down.  
"What's wrong, Murdoch?"  
"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong."  
Josiah leaned against the wall and let his head fall back. "Murdoch, we've been friends for four years. I consider you my best friend, but you need to trust me. I know you've always had some trouble sleeping, but anyone could see that it's gotten worse. I'm here for you. I just wish you realized that and would trust me enough to tell me what's going on with you."  
He shrugged. "You can talk to me about anything. Or to anyone on the team."  
Murdoch raised blue eyes to meet Josiah's concerned gaze and for a moment allowed the sadness to shine through. "There's nothing to talk about. Goodnight."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Jack was jarred from a deep sleep by a weight landing on his stomach. He forced one eye open and saw Sadie's blue eyes staring down at him.  
Groaning, he closed his eye again. "Sadie, get down. You know you're not allowed on the bed."  
The dog grasped the edge of the blanket in her mouth and tugged.  
"Sadie." Jack growled, opening both of his eyes.  
Sadie whined and shied away, turning to look toward the nightstand. Jack followed the dog's gaze and saw his cell phone vibrating on the bedside table.  
"I'm sorry, girl." Jack gentled his voice and held out a hand, waiting for Sadie to come to him. He gently ruffled her ear. "Good dog."

Jack dropped back against his pillow after hanging up the phone. His eyes sought out the clock. Four a.m. Two hours of sleep was not enough.  
Sighing, Jack forced himself to climb from the bed.  
"Jack? What's going on?" Sue murmured sleepily. Her eyes still closed; one hand reaching toward the empty spot on the bed where he had been sleeping.  
"Shh." Jack feathered a hand through her hair and stroked her forehead, hoping that she would just go back to sleep without fully waking.  
But instead her eyes opened and she sat up, clicking on her bedside lamp. "Jack?"  
"It's okay. Go back to sleep." Jack said as he pulled on a clean pair of pants.  
"What time is it?"  
"It's four 'o'clock. Go back to sleep."  
"What's wrong?"  
Jack sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "It's all right. I just have to go into work." He tenderly brushed Sue's hair away from her sleep-filled eyes. "Just go back to sleep, sweetheart. I'll call you later."  
"It's bad isn't it?" Sue tugged the blanket up tighter around her, her voice trembling slightly.  
"It's urgent. But I'm not in any danger. Come on, go to sleep." Jack stood and waited for Sue to slide back down in the bed. He gently tucked the covers around her and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I LOVE YOU."  
"Love you too."

"Manning." Bobby mumbled into his phone without opening his eyes. He let out a groan when he heard Jack's voice.  
"Okay. I'll be there… No need for that, Spark, he's here. We'll ride in together… Yeah, mate. We'll do. See you soon."  
Ending the call, Bobby flopped back on his pillow. He could feel himself drifting back to sleep and hurriedly sat up, blindly groping for the pants he had dropped onto the floor only two hours earlier.  
"Bobby." Tara whimpered from behind him. "Clean clothes."  
Bobby glanced over and chuckled when he saw that she was already back asleep. "Yes ma'am." After pulling on clean clothes, Bobby stood over the bed and watched Tara sleep for an all too brief moment; a tender smile on his face.  
Bending down he gently kissed her forehead and slipped quietly down the hall toward the guest room to wake Myles.

"Reid." Derek Morgan shook his friend's thin shoulder. "Wake up, kid."  
Reid's eyes shot open and his breath hitched.  
"Easy. It's just me. It's Morgan." Derek's dark eyes took in the disheveled state of Reid's bed and he knew that their two hours of sleep had not been peaceful for the younger man.  
"Morgan?" Reid's voice was unnaturally gruff from sleep and he sat up, glancing around the hotel room frowning. "What's wrong?"  
"Hudson called. Something's happened. They need us to come in."  
Reid's shoulders slumped. "Okay."  
Derek frowned. "You know, kid, we _can_ just go home. We're supposed to be getting rest. Hudson's team is good. They can probably handle this."  
Reid shook his head. "No. We shouldn't leave them."  
Morgan smiled. "All right. Then let's get to work, pretty boy."

"Murdoch." Josiah paused in the act of knocking on Murdoch's bedroom door when he noticed that it was slightly ajar. His roommate normally slept with the door firmly closed and locked. The young man must have been more exhausted than any of them realized.  
"Murdoch?" Josiah called softly as he nudged open the door. He crossed the room and reached out a hand to shake his friend awake, but before he could touch him the younger man shot up in the bed and backed against the wall his eyes wide. "Don't."  
Josiah's heart clenched at the unnatural pleading in his friend's voice. "Easy. It's just me. It's Josiah."  
Murdoch's blue eyes cleared. "Josiah?" He ran a hand through his jet black hair. "What's wrong?"  
"Jack called. We have to go into work. Something's happened."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Where's Sparky?" Bobby asked as he and Myles trudged into the bullpen to find their young teammates and the two visiting agents waiting.  
"Don't know." Josiah mumbled from where he sat with his head resting on his desk, his eyes closed.  
Despite his exhaustion, Bobby had to smile at the sight. He glanced at Murdoch's desk and his grin widened.  
Murdoch Jamison was sound asleep, his head resting on a thick open book on his desk. It was obvious that he had nodded off while reading.  
Beside him Spencer Reid was sleeping curled up in an extra chair, clutching his messenger bag.  
Derek Morgan smiled and raised an eyebrow from where he sat at Bobby's desk. "Sometime when I'm actually awake remind me to ask you where that nickname came from."  
Bobby sent him a dimpled grin. "Now there's a story I love telling." He yawned and dropped into Tory Mitchell's chair, rolling it over to his desk.  
Myles sat at his desk and rested his head in his hands. "If he's going to call us in at four in the morning you would think he would at least have the decency to be here."

"I'm here." Jack said as he strode into the bullpen. "Sorry for the delay. I stopped to get good coffee and there was a line." Myles opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth would anyone want coffee at four A.M? Besides us that is?" Jack shrugged one shoulder. "I have no idea."  
He glanced over at where Josiah had joined Murdoch and Reid in sleep. "I hate to say this, but someone has to wake the kids up."  
Morgan grinned as he took a sip of the coffee Jack handed him. "Just wave Reid's coffee under his nose and he'll perk right up."  
Bobby raised a skeptical eyebrow at his new friend and snatched Reid's sugar-laden coffee from Jack. One pass of the drink under his nose and Spencer's eyes opened as one hand reached up.  
Bobby laughed and placed the caffeine fix in the groping hand.  
"Wake up, Rugrat." Bobby shook Josiah's shoulder then playfully ruffled his hair.  
Josiah jerked and sat up in his chair. He glanced around and his face flushed when he saw the older agents. "Sorry."  
"Don't be." Jack set a coffee in front of him.  
"Do we have to wake up Einstein?" Myles asked from where he was standing near Murdoch's desk.  
Jack studied the dark circles under the eyes of the sleeping man and hesitated. The fact that he was still sleeping despite the voices drifting around him spoke volumes about the level of his exhaustion. Before Jack could reply Murdoch began to stir in his chair.  
"Please, no." The quiet plea caught everyone's attention, but before anyone could move the young man's blue eyes shot opened.  
"Hey." Myles kept his voice gentle as he placed an energy drink on the desk. "Jack's here."  
Murdoch glanced around the bullpen and reached for the drink as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"I'm sorry for the wakeup call." Jack said, his concerned eyes lingering on the youngest member of his team. "There's been another kidnapping."  
He turned and pinned a photo to the board. "Ryan Jenkins was last seen outside the youth center where he volunteered. Six-year old Cooper Howard is also missing. He is a regular at the youth center and was last seen standing outside with Ryan."  
Myles frowned. "Are we sure that Jenkins didn't kidnap Cooper and disappear?"  
Jack rubbed a hand over his face. "No, we're not." He glanced at the profilers. "What do you think?"  
Morgan studied the photo of the young man. "It is possible that Jenkins kidnapped the boy. That's something that we have to keep in mind. But if you look at all three adult victims together it seems probable that this was all the work of the same unsub and that Ryan Jenkins is a victim not a kidnapper."  
He nodded toward the board. "Look at it from a profiling perspective and tell me what you see."  
"They're all physically fit, athletic, and involved with children." Murdoch spoke up quietly.  
Myles studied the board and nodded. "Brian Todd coached football and taught physical education, Drew Anderson coached Little League baseball and was a foster parent, and now Ryan Jenkins volunteered at a youth center."  
Morgan turned to Jack. "We need to learn everything we can about these men."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Are you okay?" Tara Manning asked her sister-in-law as she handed her a cup of tea.  
Jade Leland glanced up. Her green eyes troubled.  
"Myles was so exhausted and discouraged when he came in last night. And then he only got two hours of sleep. He said the case wasn't dangerous, but…" Jade's voice trailed off and she shrugged one slim shoulder as her gaze turned back to the window where three-year old Robert and Stanley were playing in the small fenced-in yard.  
Tara nodded in understanding; her eyes fixed on her sons. "Bobby was beat too." Tara took a sip of her tea and she glanced at the clock.

Her hazel eyes lit up as an idea hit her. "Why don't we surprise the guys with lunch? We haven't done that in a while."  
Jade's brow furrowed. "Do you think they'll be in the office?"  
Tara shrugged. "We won't know until we get there, but it's worth a try. I know they could use it."  
A small smile crossed Jade's face. "You're right. Let's do it."  
Tara nodded toward the sliding glass door. "Why don't you get the boys while I txt Sue to see if she and the kids want to join us?"

"Sue's going to meet us there. She said that Jack was really down this morning too. And Bobby has said that Murdoch has been having a rough time so I'm sure that seeing Anna Grace will be good for him."  
"What are we taking?" Jade asked as she guided the twins down the hall toward the bathroom to clean up.  
"Sue said that she has roasted chicken she can make into chicken salad sandwiches. I made chocolate chip cookies last night. We could stop on the way to pick up French fries or chips."  
Jade lifted Robert onto the step stool and squirted soap into his hands. "I have chips and dip and raw vegetables at home. Let's just run by and get those."  
"Chips?" Three-year old Robert Manning tilted his head back to eye his aunt hopefully.  
Jade smiled and lifted him off the stool so Stanley could wash his hands.  
"Yes, chips." She said as she snagged a towel to dry his hands. "We're going to take them to your daddy and Uncle Myles." Jade bit back a grin at the little boy's crestfallen expression. "But if you're good, they might share with you."  
"I good." Robert announced stoutly.  
"Me too." Stanley chimed in.  
The boys grinned at Jade; their matching dimples melting her heart. She felt the all too familiar stab of pain as she wondered what her little boy would have looked liked if he had been allowed to live.

"Shh." Tara Manning held a finger to her lips as the small group headed down the hall toward the bullpen after depositing the lunch in an empty conference room.  
"We want to surprise Daddy." She whispered.  
Robert and Stanley nodded eagerly; their green eyes twinkling with mischief.  
"Like on his birthday?" Stanley whispered.  
"Like on his birthday." Tara whispered back, nodding.  
Keeping a firm grip on the boys, Tara glanced into the bullpen; making sure that her body blocked the boys' view of the room. She glanced at the evidence board and her eyes widened as she saw the crime scene photos.  
Tara quickly stepped back and gave Sue a warning look.  
Sue grabbed four-year old Jackson's arm and yanked him back before he could enter the bullpen.  
"Stay with Aunt Jade. I'll get Daddy." Tara transferred her boys' hands to Jade and stepped into the bullpen.  
What she saw made her heart sink.  
The agents were deeply engrossed in reading files, but they seemed to despair more with every word they read. The defeated slump of their shoulders and the exhaustion on their faces tore at her heart.

"Anyone have time for lunch?" Tara asked, smiling as the heads snapped up and swiveled her way.  
Bobby's tired green eyes lit up and he quickly strode over to her. "That's the best offer I've had all day, Tara-Girl. But do I have to share?" He grinned and bent down to claim her lips in a quick kiss.  
Tara leaned back against Bobby and sent a smile toward Myles and Jack. "Jade, Sue, and the kids are in the hall. Lunch is in the conference room."  
That announcement brought smiles to all the faces as they moved as one toward the doorway.

"Daddy!"  
"Daddy!"  
"Daddy!"  
"Daddy!"  
Robert and Stanley jerked away from Jade's grasp and launched themselves at Bobby, who scooped them up into his arms a wide, dimpled smile filling his tired face, while Jack knelt down to hug Jackson and Wesley.  
Standing, Jack took Anna Grace from Sue's arms and held her close. His dark eyes filled with gratitude as he gazed at Sue. "THANK YOU."  
"YOU'RE WELCOME."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Bobby Manning slung an empty water bottle toward the recycling bin.  
It clattered across the floor, startling everyone in the room.  
"Sorry." He muttered, raking a hand through his hair. "It's been almost forty hours since Ryan and Cooper disappeared and we've got nothing." He gestured toward the board. "None of this makes sense."  
"Bobby's right." Myles leaned back in his chair, exhaustion and frustration evident on his face. "Why would anyone kidnap and kill three upstanding members of society? And why take Cooper?"  
The frustrated agents glanced at the visiting profilers.  
Derek Morgan sighed. "On the surface of things I would think we had someone seeking revenge on physically fit, athletic males. Most likely someone who was bullied by jocks in school. But as Reid pointed out earlier, the physical strength needed to carry out these murders and transport the bodies, doesn't fit with that theory."

"Appearances are deceiving. These guys may not be who they appear to be. Or they might not have always been upstanding citizens."  
Morgan glanced down at Murdoch. "Smart Boy is right." He looked at Jack. "Hudson, we need to find out everything that is in these guys' past; even if it's a sealed record. Our technical analyst in Quantico can get that info faster than anybody. I'd like to give her a call if it's all right."  
Jack raised a hand. "Hey, whatever we need to do to solve this. Give her a call if you think she can help."

Morgan exchanged a look with Reid and stepped out into the hall to make the call. He had hoped to keep the rest of his team out of this until it was over. He hated bringing worry to their downtime.

"Hey, Super Agent. Are you and Junior G-man missing me?"  
One side of Morgan's mouth lifted at Penelope Garcia's cheerful greeting. "You know we are. Listen, Garcia. I need you to look up some info for a case for us."  
"No, no, no. You and Boy Wonder are supposed to be enjoying a nice little break. You are _not_ supposed to be chasing a psycho or working a case."  
Morgan sighed. "I know. I need all the information you can dig up on Brian Todd, Drew Anderson, and Ryan Jenkins. Anything you can find. If it's sealed, unseal it."  
Garcia sighed heavily. "All right. I'll call you back as soon as I have anything." She hesitated. "Are you guys okay?"  
Morgan smiled. "Yeah, we're fine. There's no need for you to worry your pretty little head. Just call me when you get the info."  
"Will do. Take care of yourself. Oh, and give my sweet genius boy a kiss for me."  
Morgan laughed. "Sorry. That's something I won't do, even for you, sweetness. Talk to you later."

"Hey, Bobby. What's the story on Murdoch?"  
Bobby glanced over at Derek Morgan seated in the passenger seat of his car. They had been sent out to pick up Chinese for the hungry agents.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Come on, man. The kid is _hurting_. You can't tell me you don't see that."  
Bobby sighed. "I know, mate. We all have our baggage and secrets, but…" He shrugged. "Murdoch's more closed-mouthed than most. None of us have been able to learn about his past. We all love that kid, but we don't know how to get past those walls of his."

The ringing of Derek's cell phone interrupted the men's conversation.  
"Hey, tell me you got something."  
"Of course I do. Boy Wonder Number Two was right on the money. Your three boy scouts have not always been as honorable as they are today."  
"Hang on, baby girl. I'm going to put you on speaker. Bobby Manning is with me."  
"Ah, yes. Mr. Dimples. Pleased to meet you, sir."  
Morgan laughed as Bobby flushed red.

"As I was saying, your golden boys aren't so golden. When Brian Todd was in seventh grade he was kicked off of his football team after three teammates complained of inappropriate contact in the locker room showers. The family moved shortly after that and Brian began playing ball again. Five years ago a student made similar complaints against Brian, but Brian said the boy was angry because he was being suspended from the team because of his grades. The charges were dropped. Drew Anderson entered the foster system when he was six after his single mother was killed in a car accident. He was bounced around from one home to another. Each set of foster parents complained of his uncontrollable temper. When he was eleven he was caught molesting his six-year old foster brother. He was placed in a delinquent center where apparently he began to turn his life around. Was released when he was fifteen. Lived in a group home for three years before working his way through college. Nothing yet on Ryan Jenkins, but I'll keep searching."

"Thanks, baby girl." Morgan ended the call and shared a look with Bobby. "We need to get back to the team."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

The bullpen buzzed with a newfound energy and urgency when Bobby and Derek reported the new information.  
"We are looking at a moral-based vigilante killer." Spencer Reid's voice rose in pitch with the excitement of having a lead to chase. He paced in front of the board; one hand clutching a coffee cup and the other waving in the air as he spoke.  
Bobby leaned over to Derek. "You really need to get him off the caffeine and sugar. He's more wound up than my three-year olds."  
Morgan grinned, picturing the green-eyed, dimpled twins. The comparison was fitting, but he doubted Reid would appreciate it. Morgan watched as Reid paused to take a sip of his sugar-laden coffee.  
He stood and took over the briefing. "Our unsub is male, in his mid-twenties to early thirties. He would have been abused as a child or teen. It is possible that he is one of Brian or Drew's victims, so we need to start there. This guy is targeting men who have abused or been accused of abusing boys. Over time, he may devolve to killing men who are innocent, but who he perceives to be guilty."  
Morgan paused, sharing a glance with Reid before making eye contact with each of Hudson's team. "He will not stop until we catch him."  
"Why did he take Cooper?" Myles asked.  
Morgan sighed and shrugged one shoulder. "It could be just because the kid was there when he grabbed Ryan. Or he may be trying to protect the boy. The good news is that he is unlikely to hurt Cooper."  
"We can't know that." Murdoch's blue eyes were icy as they snapped up to challenge Morgan. "You can't just assume that Cooper is okay. We_ have_ to find him."  
"Murdoch." Jack's voice was firmer than Morgan and Reid had heard it before. "No one is assuming anything or giving up. Finding Cooper is still our number one priority. But we're not going to be able to do that if we don't learn about the man who took him." He held Murdoch's gaze with his dark eyes until the young man nodded and slumped slightly in his seat.

Jack rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Okay. We need to track down Brian and Drew's past victims. Re-interview family, friends, and coworkers in light of this new info."

"We should also try to talk to the Andersons' foster son and to the kids who played ball for these men or who went to the youth center." Bobby's concerned green eyes met Jack's and he gestured toward the board. "What are the chances that men with that kind of past could spend all their time around young boys without doing something?"  
"Without God not very high." Myles spoke quietly.  
Morgan glanced up at the comment. After a week in D.C he was still surprised by the freeness with which the agents spoke of their faith.  
He also couldn't help but notice that Murdoch tensed every time his teammates mentioned God.  
Jack nodded in agreement and pinched the bridge of his nose. His shoulders slumped with the magnitude of the task facing them, knowing that the clock was ticking down on Ryan Jenkins' life. And who knew what little Cooper was facing?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Morgan's heart went out to the team leader and the weight of the burden he was carrying.  
Derek's dark eyes moved around the room, taking in the tired agents. It had been nearly twenty hours since any of them had slept. And now with a lead to follow it could literally be days before they slept again.  
He wondered how often this happened to them. With their reputation as the best in the bureau, Morgan knew that they were probably handed the worst cases that assaulted the nation's capital.  
His mind drifted to Elle, Gideon, and Blake. It was surprising that Hudson's team had not also lost agents to burnout. Derek wondered how much longer they could all go on.

"Jack, I can get our technical analyst to find information on Brian and Drew's victims and search for any mutual acquaintances. That'll free us up for interviews."  
Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay. I normally would call Tara in, but if your analyst can help go ahead and get her started."  
He glanced at Bobby. "Call Tara and get her to try to find out more about Ryan Jenkins."  
Bobby nodded and moved toward the hall his cell phone already pressed against his ear.  
Jack drew in a deep breath. "Tory, go across the hall and see if Joseph's guys can help us out this afternoon. We're running out of time."

Bobby leaned tiredly against the wall as he waited for Tara to answer the phone. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Morgan step into the hallway, his phone glued to his ear.

"Hey, sweetheart."  
Bobby smiled as Tara's sweet voice filled his ear. "Hey, love." He tried to keep his voice upbeat, but it was obvious he had failed when Tara immediately turned serious.  
"What's wrong?"  
Bobby sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We need your help."  
"With what? Can I do it from here or do I need to come in?"  
Bobby hesitated. Tara could easily access the needed information from her home office, but the thought of having her in the bullpen was wonderful.  
"You can do it from home. We need any and all information you can find on Ryan Jenkins. Look particularly for warning signs that he has or may sexually abuse a child."  
Tara closed her eyes.  
Cases involving kids always hit hard. She glanced into the living room where Robert and Stanley were playing with a bucket of large legos. From the guest room she could hear the sounds of Jade playing her violin.

Tara made a quick decision. "I'll come in."  
"Tara. No. You don't need to." Bobby's longing to have his wife nearby was suddenly overwhelmed by an urgent need to protect her from the darkness of the case.  
"Bobby." Tara's gentle voice was like a caress and his eyes drifted closed. "We've talked about this. You promised you wouldn't shut me out."  
Bobby's eyes opened and he started to protest, but Tara continued.  
"Honey, I love the fact that you want to protect me and shield me. And there are times when I gladly allow you to do so. But I also need you to allow me to be there for you and the team when you need me. It's okay. We're stronger together. Besides, Donna has been complaining that she hasn't gotten to babysit recently, so she will be thrilled to watch the boys for a few hours. And you know the boys love going to their Nona's house."  
A small smile tugged at Bobby's lips. "What about Jade?"  
"She has students this afternoon, so I was getting ready to take her home. If Myles doesn't make it home tonight I'll pick her up later. Now, I'm going to put you on speaker and let you chat with our duo while I get ready."

"Hey, guys. Talk to Daddy for a little bit."  
"Okay, Mommy. Hi, Daddy." The sweet, little voices mingled together and brought a wider smile to Bobby's face even as tears burned his green eyes.  
"Hey, champs. How are my guys?"  
"We're good, Daddy."  
"What have you been doing today?"  
"We painted you a picture."  
"You did? Thank you. I can't wait to see it. What else have you been doing?"  
"Building with legos!"  
"I read a new book."  
"Really? That's great, Stanley. I'm proud of you. You'll have to read it to me when I get home, okay?"  
"Okay, Daddy."  
Bobby never ceased to be amazed that his three-year old was reading at a first-grade level. "What did you build with your legos, Robert?"  
"A airplane!"  
"An airplane? Wow! Does it fly really high?"  
"Uh-_huh_." Robert's voice was emphatic. "And fast."  
"Good job, buddy. I'm proud of you."  
"Have you caught the bad guy yet, Daddy?"  
"Are you coming home?"  
Bobby sighed. "Not yet, guys. I'm sorry. There's no place I would rather be. I miss you."  
"Miss you too, Daddy."  
"Don't worry, Daddy. You'll get the bad guy."  
"You always beat the bad guy, Daddy. 'Cause you're a hero."  
"I'm not a hero, guys."  
"You're my hero, Daddy."  
"And mine!" "And mommy's!"  
"And Aunt Jade's!"  
"No, Uncle Myles is Aunt Jade's hero."  
"Daddy is too!"

Bobby chuckled. "Hey, guys, listen. I'm really sorry I have to go work right now. I want to come home and play with you. But I think you might be going to Nona's house this afternoon."  
"Nona!"  
"Yay!"  
"I need you to do something for me. Do you think you can?"  
"Yes, Daddy."  
"I need you to be extra good for Nona and for Mommy later. Can you do that?"  
"Yes sir."  
"We'll be really, really, really good."  
"I love you."  
"Love you more, Daddy."  
"No, I love you more."  
Giggles filled Bobby's ear. "No, Daddy."  
"We love you more."  
"Impossible."  
More giggles.  
"I got to go, guys. Push the bye-bye button and go get ready for Nona's."  
"Bye, Daddy."

Down the hall from Bobby, Derek Morgan leaned his shoulder against the wall as he waited for Penelope Garcia to answer the phone.  
"Hey, handsome."  
"Hey, Garcia. I need you to do some digging for us."  
"What kind of digging?" Garcia's cheerful voice turned suspicious. "Digging for awesome fun places in D.C. for you guys to visit or digging up dirt for a case."  
"Case."  
A groan filled Morgan's ear. "Morgan! You and baby boy are not supposed to be working a case!"  
"I know, sweetness."  
Garcia sighed. "What is it with you people and vacations? You and Elle go on vacation and she gets accused of murder. Hotch goes to New York and people start bleeding out and dying everywhere. I swear, you're all trouble magnets. What do you need?"  
"I need you to track down Brian Todd and Drew Anderson's former victims. Get everything you can on them. See if there is any sign that one of them might be seeking revenge. And look for anyone who might know all of the victims."  
"Alrightie. Talk to you later."

Red-haired Tory Mitchell hurried back into the bullpen followed by Special Agent Joseph Davis and three other men.

"What do you need, Jack? The rest of my guys are tied up right now, but we can give you the afternoon."  
Jack handed the men file folders with the case info. "We need to re-interview the family, friends, and co-workers of these men in light of new information we received."  
Joseph quickly glanced over the file. He raised his head and his dark eyes fell on the forgotten Chinese take-out piled on Jack's desk.  
He glanced around at the exhausted agents of Jack's team. "We'll get started on this. You guys take a break and eat."  
Jack started to shake his head and Joseph moved closer, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder.  
"Jack, when was the last time any of you ate?"  
Jack's mind drifted back to the lunch the ladies had brought them. "Lunch yesterday."  
Joseph shook his head. "That was twenty-four hours ago. You can't do this. I want your team to take at least an hour to eat and talk about something non-case related. Or I'm going to have a talk with D about how your team is handling this." Jack sighed and nodded. He knew that Joseph was right. "Okay. Thanks for your help."  
"Anytime." A wide grin spread across the tall agent's face. "Besides, Lucy would have my head if I let anything happen to her team."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Special Agent Derek Morgan watched carefully as the social worker led five-year old Bray Conner into the room. The little boy's blue eyes filled with fear when he saw the men and he drew back.  
Morgan sighed, wishing Jack had been able to send a female agent. He started toward the boy but was stopped by a hand on his arm. Josiah shook his head slightly and nodded toward Murdoch. Derek raised an eyebrow in surprise as the quiet, young agent took over.

"Hey, Bray." Murdoch knelt in front of the small boy, being careful to keep a distance between them. "My name is Murdoch. I work for the FBI. Do you know what that is?"  
The little boy's blond brows furrowed in thought and he shook his head.  
Murdoch smiled gently. "It's kind of like being a police officer." A spark of interest filled the sad blue eyes and Murdoch's smile grew. "Would you like to see my badge?"  
Bray nodded eagerly.  
Murdoch pulled it out and let the boy examine it. "Pretty cool, huh?"  
Bray nodded and handed it back, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  
"How old are you, Bray?"  
He held up five fingers.  
"Five? Really?"  
The little boy nodded.  
"Does that mean you're in kindergarten?" Excitement filled Murdoch's voice.  
Another nod.  
"Oh, wow. This is so cool. Bray, I've been trying to catch these bad guys, but I'm having some trouble. I really need a kindergartener to help me. Do you think that you could help me?"  
Bray hesitated and glanced over at where Morgan, Reid, and Josiah were watching them. Fear filled his eyes again.  
"It's okay. Those guys are agents too. That's what they call people who work at the FBI. We're the good guys. Do you want to see their badges too?"  
Bray nodded.  
Murdoch glanced over his shoulder. "Guys."  
Derek, Spencer, and Josiah pulled out their badges and held them up for Bray to see. "That was very smart, Bray. You should always ask for identification from anyone claiming to be a police officer. I'm proud of you. Okay, now, my friends are going to sit over there with Miss Ali while you and I talk over here."

Murdoch led the boy over to a small table. "I'm so glad I found you, Bray. I think you're just the kindergartner I need to help me catch these bad guys. What have you been learning? Are you learning your letters and numbers?"  
Bray nodded.

Morgan frowned and shared a glance with Reid. The kid still had not spoken. He looked over at Josiah, but he didn't seem worried.  
Feeling Morgan's eyes on him Josiah looked over. "Trust him." He mouthed.

"What about colors? What's your favorite color?"  
"Orange."  
Murdoch smiled. "That's a great color. Always reminds me of sunsets. That's the great thing about kindergarten. You get to learn really cool stuff that you'll always need to know."  
Murdoch furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin. "See, that's why I need some help. In kindergarten you learn about good and bad touch, right?"  
The little boy visibly stiffened and gave a slight nod; his eyes now firmly glued to the table.  
"Hey," Murdoch lowered his voice to a gentle whisper. "It's all right."  
He shrugged one shoulder. "I was hoping you would help me remember. But you can say no if you don't want to. It's okay."  
A moment of silence stretched by. Bray gave another slight nod. "I'll help."  
Murdoch's face relaxed in a smile. "Excellent." He laid a teddy bear on the table. "Will you teach me good and bad touch with this bear?"

The three FBI agents and the young social worker watched as the little boy used the teddy bear to demonstrate the differences between safe and unsafe touching.  
"Thank you, Bray. You have been a really big help. This is going to help me catch the bad guys. Bray, there's one more question I would like to ask you. Did Mr. Drew Anderson ever touch you with bad touch?"  
Tears welled up in the little boy's blue eyes as he nodded; his lip quivering.  
"I am so sorry, Bray. That should have never happened to you. Listen, you are a very brave, very smart, and very good boy. You helped me a lot today. Thank you."  
Bray sniffed and rubbed at his teary eyes.  
"Shh. It's okay now. It is all right. Bray," Murdoch's tone took on a lighter note. "You helped me so much today that I would really like to make you one of my partners in the FBI, would you like that?"  
The little boy lifted his head to look at Murdoch and nodded.  
"Yeah? All right." Murdoch reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin black leather wallet that matched his own. He opened it to reveal a Junior FBI Agent badge.  
The corners of Bray's lips twitched slightly upward. "You know, Bray, partners in the FBI are very special and very important. Would it be okay for my friends to come over here for a minute?"  
Bray glanced over at the three men and his eyes widened in fear.  
"It's okay." Murdoch said. "They're good guys. They will not hurt you. Besides, I'm right here. And I would never let anyone hurt you, Bray. You're my partner. Okay?"  
"Okay."

Murdoch waved the agents over. "Bray, this is Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, and Josiah Carter. Morgan and Reid are partners and Josiah is my partner just like you. Now, one of the first things you need to know about being a FBI agent is that you _always_ need to have your badge with you. Secondly, partners _always_ have each other's backs. Right, guys?" "Right."  
"Partners always protect each other and always help each other. You're my partner, Bray, so I need you to always help me like you did today. Do you think you can do that?"  
"Yes."  
"And I will always be there for you." Murdoch pulled out a business card and slipped into the wallet.  
"Bray, I want you to keep this card with your badge. Okay? And if anyone ever tries to touch you with bad touch again, or if you're scared or sad or lonely and need to talk to someone, you find a phone and push those numbers on the card to call me. Okay, Partner?"  
"Okay." A real smile spread across the little boy's face.  
Murdoch grinned back. "Good. Now, I'm going to have to go now, but I'll come back to see you as soon as I can."  
"Okay."  
"Bye, Partner."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

The sick feeling that had gripped Derek Morgan's stomach since learning the truth of the two victims' past increased as he stepped out of the car in front of the youth center and saw a group of young boys playing football.  
Spencer Reid glanced at his partner in concern, wishing that Morgan didn't have to face his nightmares yet again. Their jobs were hard enough without having to constantly battle personal demons. And they all had them.  
Reid was pretty sure that at least some of Hudson's team had them as well; he was beginning to wonder if the FBI had some sort of secret requirement that agents have messed up lives.

"You ok?" Reid asked quietly as Josiah and Murdoch circled the car to join them.  
"Yeah." Morgan slipped on his dark sunglasses, effectively hiding the pain in his eyes.  
Spencer followed his friend's gaze to the young boys and he sighed.  
He couldn't help hoping that they were wrong. That Ryan Jenkins was different from Brian Todd and Drew Anderson. That the unsub had gotten it wrong and that Ryan had not done unspeakably horrible things to the young boys who came to the center starved for guidance. That he wasn't another Carl Buford.  
But as Reid watched Morgan walk toward the young football players; his gut told him that they weren't wrong.

It was an exhausted group of federal agents who dragged themselves back into the bullpen on the sixth floor of the Hoover Building. Listening to story after story of young boys who had suffered horrific sexual and mental abuse at the hands of the three men had completely drained them.  
Bobby Manning's eyes drifted to his desk where Tara had been working. The pain in his green eyes eased slightly when he saw that she was still there.  
"Hey, love." He strode over and pulled her into his arms, desperately needing solace.

"Hey." A quiet voice spoke from behind them.  
As one the haunted group turned to find Demetrius Gans standing in the doorway.  
The supervisor's dark eyes swept over the group. He held up a red plastic container. "Donna and the boys made cookies."

D slid the container onto the nearest desk and glanced at Myles. "Jade is hanging out with Sue tonight. I'm going to drive her over there."  
His eyes moved to Bobby and Tara. "Donna is thrilled to have the boys for the night. She's got them all excited about camping out in the living room with Papa." A small smile lifted the corners of D's mouth.  
"Thanks, D."  
"Anytime."  
D's eyes took in the rest of the team and finally stopped on Jack. "Find time to eat and rest. Call me if you need anything." Jack nodded; gratitude showing in his dark eyes.

Demetrius felt guilty as he headed down the hallway. He hated going home when his agents were still hard at work. But he knew that this time the best way he could help his team was by caring for their families.  
D breathed a silent prayer for his friends as he climbed into his car. Then he shook his head; mentally putting the horrors of the job behind him so he could go be Papa for a while.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Okay." Jack Hudson popped the last bite of his M&amp;M cookie into his mouth and poured himself yet another cup of coffee. He wondered how many this made today. He had lost count after the tenth cup.  
"So, we know that Brian Todd, Drew Anderson, and Ryan Jenkins all sexually abused young boys who were under their care via their athletic activities."  
"Right." Spencer Reid sipped his coffee and Jack wondered if it would be possible to put the stuff into an IV for the young agent. That seemed like it would be more efficient with the number of cups the guy consumed. "We are definitely looking for a vigilante killer."  
Derek Morgan sighed and handed the cookie he had been tossing in his hands to Reid; unsure if his stomach could handle food. He looked over at Tara. "Did you and Garcia find anything on their previous victims?"  
Tara glanced up from her computer screen. "All of the known victims have checked out. And so have their family members. Of course, now we are checking all of the new victims and their family members." Tara gestured toward the laptop screen where she had been video-conferencing with Penelope Garcia.  
"You'll catch this guy, handsome." Garcia looked up into the camera. "But it's a long list. Any way to narrow it down?" Morgan sighed and dropped his head into his hands.  
"All of the boys we spoke with today are too young to be the killer." Myles offered.  
"But it could be a family member or friend, right?" Josiah put in.  
"Possible, but not likely." Reid mumbled around the cookie in his mouth. "None of the current victims had mentioned the abuse to anyone before today."  
He hesitated and glanced at Morgan. "They all thought they were the only one."  
Jack groaned in frustration. "Come on. There's got to be a way to catch this guy. Ryan Jenkins only has a few more hours to live."  
"Good."  
Everyone turned to the youngest agent in surprise. They had never heard such anger in his voice before. Had never expected to hear it.  
"Murdoch."  
"No, Jack! I'm serious." The young man glanced up and Jack almost took a step back. Murdoch's blue eyes were cold. "Why are we killing ourselves trying to find someone who is just doing us a favor? We need to find Cooper. But why should we worry about finding Ryan Jenkins alive? That monster deserves whatever the unsub does to him."  
"Murdoch." Jack's voice had grown hard, but the young agent ignored him. He jumped from his chair and ran from the bullpen.  
"Jack." Morgan held up a hand. "Let me talk to him."  
Jack rubbed his hand over his face then threw it in the air. "Go."

Derek Morgan sighed when he found the young agent in the gym.  
Murdoch was pounding a punching bag; his body trembling with the rage that gripped him.  
Morgan's heart clenched when he saw that the young man's cheeks were wet with tears.

"Jack will be relieved that you're here and not out killing someone."  
Murdoch didn't even glance at him.  
Morgan sighed. "Come on, kid. I don't think this is going to help."  
"Leave me alone!"  
Derek shook his head. "Can't do that, Smart Boy. Jack is ready to either suspend you or fire you. You got to talk to me, kid."  
"No, I don't!" Murdoch attacked the punching bag once more.  
Morgan grabbed him from behind, pinning the struggling young man against his chest. "Murdoch! That's enough!"  
"Let me go!"  
"Murdoch, stop! Stop! That's enough! That's enough." Derek's voice softened as the young man stopped struggling in his arms. "Come on, Einstein. Talk to me. What is hurting you, kid?"  
"You don't understand."  
"Try me." Morgan eased them down onto the floor.  
"Those boys." Murdoch ran a shaking hand through his black hair. "They didn't deserve what happened."  
"No, they didn't."  
"If you're right and the unsub is one of their victims then we'll be taking the victim into custody and letting the criminal go free."  
Morgan shook his head. "That's not going to happen. We find Ryan Jenkins alive and he will be arrested and face justice for what he did to those boys. Listen to me. I get it. I do. But we have a job to do. I know that you know that what this killer is doing is not right either. That's not the way to handle whatever happened to him."

Murdoch shook his head. "You don't understand what happened to those boys."  
"Yeah, I do. I understand because the same thing happened to me." Derek spoke softly, closing his eyes as the pain of those memories ripped through him once more. "His name was Carl Buford. He ran a youth center where I grew up. Everyone thought he was some kind of hero."  
Murdoch sniffed and wiped a hand over his face as a few more tears escaped. "I'm sorry."  
Morgan nudged him with his elbow. "Hey, talk to me. Anything you say to me in confidence stays between us. Take it from someone who knows. It's not good to keep it all bottled up inside."  
He shrugged. "You can't keep doing this, Smart Boy. It was obvious the day I met you that you're hurting. And it's only gotten worse. What's going on?"

"I was really small when I was kid." Murdoch spoke quietly. "I was always at least two years behind the average size. My dad wanted me to play sports and be tough. But I was never any good at it. My brother Danny was a really good baseball player. He promised to teach me how to play so that Dad would like me too."  
Murdoch's body shuddered. "When I was four and Danny was twelve the bus his baseball team was traveling in was hit by a drunk driver. Danny was in a coma. He died while I was laying beside him in his hospital bed. Our parents were arguing in the hallway."  
Murdoch leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Silent tears slid from beneath his eyelids. "My dad started drinking and my mom fell into a severe depression. Most days she wouldn't even get out of bed. Two years later my baby sister was born and my dad left."

Morgan clenched his jaw his mind drifting to Reid's father. William Reid had abandoned his ten-year old son and schizophrenic wife. Now Murdoch's father had left a six-year old with a newborn and a mother who could not even care for herself.

"When I was ten my mother committed suicide. My sister and I went to live with our grandmother."  
Murdoch's entire body stiffened and he dropped his head, seeming to want to hide from Morgan's gaze.  
Derek braced himself for the next part of the story. He was afraid of what came next.

"Our social worker offered to teach me to play ball. I-I thought that if I learned my dad would come back. But h-he…" Murdoch's breathing increased rapidly.  
"Easy." Morgan murmured. "You're okay. You're safe. Take your time, kid."  
"He molested me for six years. My grandmother died when I was sixteen. Since I was already in college and providing completely for myself I was granted emancipation and given guardianship of my sister."

The room fell silent. Morgan leaned back against the wall and blinked away the tears burning his eyes.  
"Okay." He placed a gentle hand on the younger man's shoulder and Murdoch tensed.  
"Easy. I won't hurt you. Listen to me, Smart Boy. I am so sorry for what you went through. You did not deserve any of that and none of it was your fault."  
Murdoch shifted away.  
"Hey, you hear me? It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. I get it, kid. I do. I know it's hard. But we have a job to do. You gotta keep your head screwed on straight. Your team needs you. Can you do that?"  
Murdoch swiped a hand across his teary eyes and nodded.  
"Okay. Then let's get back to work, Smart Boy."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Hey, Murdoch." Derek Morgan laid a gentle hand on the young man's arm as they approached the bullpen.  
"Listen, man. I meant what I said. You can trust me. I will not repeat anything you told me without your permission. But you need to tell your team."  
He held up a hand to stop the protest. "I get it. I do. I didn't want anyone to know. I never voluntarily told anyone. Some of my team figured it out for themselves when they were working to clear me after I had been falsely accused of a crime. I had to tell the rest of them when a case we were working ended up involving the man who molested me. I _hated_ them knowing."  
Morgan shrugged. "But now I'm kind of glad that they do know. They're my family. And families should be able to lean on each other. They shouldn't have secrets."  
He rested a hand on Murdoch's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I understand, Smart Boy. I know you don't want them to know. But they love you. They care. And they are so worried about you. I promise that you can trust them. Think about it." Murdoch gave a slight nod and Derek smiled. "Good boy."

Jack raised a questioning eyebrow at Derek when he and Murdoch reentered the bullpen and Morgan gave him a reassuring nod and wink.  
Jack blew out a breath as his shoulders slumped in relief. His dark eyes followed the youngest agent as he dropped down into his chair and reached for the ever present energy drink.  
"Nah-uh." Bobby snatched the liquid caffeine out of the young man's hands and grinned when Murdoch let out a yelp of protest. "You need sleep, Einstein. And I don't think this stuff is going to help that happen. There are cots set up in the conference room."  
"Yeah, Murdoch. You've been awake longer than any of us." Josiah spoke up. "Go sleep, buddy. I promise I'll wake you up if anything breaks."  
Murdoch shook his head. "There's no time for that. Jack's right."  
Jack shook his head. "Murdoch,…"  
"No, Jack, wait." Murdoch rested his head in his hands, his eyebrows drawn together in thought.

Jack started to speak again, but stopped and waited. They had all come to recognize the signs of genius at work.  
Morgan smirked as he watched Hudson's team all stare at Murdoch in anticipation. He knew that his own team often looked at Reid in the same way.

Without warning Murdoch's head suddenly snapped up and looked in Tara's direction. A spark of life igniting in the tired blue eyes.  
"Tara!"  
Tara jumped and dropped the Rubik's cube she had been playing with.  
"Can you find out if there were any other boys who were in a foster home with Drew Anderson before he was sent to the group home other than the one he was caught molesting and trace where they are now?"  
Tara spun around and began typing. "It will take a little time since foster and juvenile records are a bit harder to access, but I can do it." She glanced over her shoulder. "Now all of you go get a little sleep. I'll wake you the minute something shows up."

Jack rubbed the back of his neck and looked over his team.  
Deciding that the best way to convince them to rest for a little while was if he agreed to do so too, he nodded. "She's right. There's nothing we can do at the moment. We'll need to be more awake for the takedown and interrogation. Let's grab some rest while we can."

He paused. "Murdoch."  
The young man raised his head; his blue eyes apprehensive.  
Jack's dark chocolate eyes softened and one side of his mouth lifted. He winked. "Good job, Einstein."  
Murdoch relaxed; his shoulders slumping in relief. The nickname letting him know that all was well between him and his leader.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

A series of beeps from her computer pulled Tara's attention away from the story Donna Gans was telling her about Robert and Stanley's cookie-making adventure.  
She glanced over at the information filling the screen and her eyes widened. "Donna, I've gotta go. Thanks again for keeping them."

Tara Manning paused outside the dark conference room and listened to the slow, deep breaths and scattered snores. She had always hated it when the task of waking her teammates fell to her.  
Sleep-deprivation was as much a part of working for the FBI as carrying a badge.

Sighing, Tara slipped quietly into the darkened room. Using the faint light from the hallway, she scanned the cots and made her over to where Jack Hudson slept.  
"Jack." She whispered softly, hesitatingly reaching out a hand to shake his shoulder. Experience had taught her that abruptly waking an exhausted FBI agent could be hazardous to one's health.  
Jack groaned in his sleep and rolled over.  
Tara quickly reached out and steadied him before he fell off the narrow cot. She sighed; the poor guy was even more tired than she had thought when she had sent them all to bed.

"Jack." Tara tried again, leaning over the sleeping form.  
His eyes fluttered open. "Sue." He murmured.  
Tara smirked. "Try again."  
Jack's dark brown eyes, clouded with sleep and confusion settled on Tara. A blush stained his cheeks. "Tara."  
He sat up and roughly rubbed a hand over his face. "Did you find something?"  
"Yes." Something in Tara's voice told Jack that it wasn't good.  
He lowered his hand and looked at her. Years of working together allowed them to communicate a world of words in that single glance.  
Jack sighed.

"No. Please, don't. No. Please." A frantic, whispered plea caught Jack and Tara's attention.  
They turned; their gaze falling on the cot where Murdoch Jamison slept. The young man's cheeks were damp with tears as he writhed on the cot.  
"Don't. _Please_." He pleaded brokenly, his hands rising to fight an assailant only he could see.  
"Oh." Tara's eyes filled with tears and she took a step forward.  
Jack reached out and grabbed her arm. "Start waking the others."  
Tara glanced back at Murdoch's whimpering form and nodded.

Jack positioned himself to block Murdoch from the view of the others, knowing that young man would be embarrassed. "Murdoch. You're okay. Wake up." Jack reached out and shook his shoulder. "Murdoch, wake up."  
Murdoch jerked awake and his breath hitched as he shrank away from Jack. "Don't."  
The normally unreadable blue eyes filled with a terror that broke Jack's heart.  
"Hey, easy." Jack used the voice that he normally reserved for comforting his kids. "It's me. It's Jack. Take it easy. You're okay. It was just a dream, Einstein."

He watched as the terror was replaced with the walls the young agent kept between himself and everyone else and Murdoch's frantic breathing slowed.  
"Sorry." The young man mumbled as he glanced away, running a shaking hand through his hair.  
"It is okay, kiddo." Jack reached out and laid a hand on Murdoch's leg, but quickly removed it when he felt him tense and saw the terror start to return. "We all have nightmares."

Jack glanced behind him and saw that the others had all quietly left the room. "Let's head to the bullpen. Tara found something." He stood back and watched Murdoch stand up from the cot prepared to steady him if he needed it, but Murdoch's legs were firm.  
Jack was surprised at how quickly the young man was able to return to normal after the nightmare; his heart clenched painfully at the realization that horror-filled sleep was normal for Murdoch.  
"Murdoch, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Anytime." Jack shrugged. "And if for some reason you feel that you can't, I know that goes for the rest of the team as well. And I will not pry into your confidences with anyone."

Murdoch dropped into his chair and a bottle of cold water and a Dr. Pepper appeared in front of him. He glanced up to meet the warm brown eyes of his best friend and gave Josiah a half-smile.

"Is Wonder Boy okay?" Myles asked Jack quietly as they each poured a cup of coffee.  
"I don't know." Jack sighed and turned around. "Okay, Tara. What do you have?"

"Nate Downing. His mother abandoned him on her boyfriend's doorstep when he was two days old. He was placed into foster care when he was a year old after it was discovered that his father left him alone in their apartment for twenty-four hours. He was removed from his first foster home after six months when it was discovered that he was not being fed properly.  
He was in two different homes after that before being placed in the same home as Drew Anderson and David Wood, the boy Drew was later caught molesting. When he was six Nate told a teacher at school that Drew 'touched' him every night. He was removed from the home.  
One year later Drew was caught molesting six-year old David Wood and was sent to the group home.  
When Nate was fourteen he and David Wood were once again placed in the same foster home. They both stayed there until turning eighteen and became best friends.  
David joined Nate at college and they shared an apartment for four years. Two months ago David Wood committed suicide."

Spencer Reid closed his eyes briefly. "There's the stressor." He glanced over at Morgan who nodded in agreement.  
Derek studied Hudson's team, recognizing the shock, horror, and disbelief that had so often crossed his own face when he first joined the BAU.  
He knew that they were struggling to grasp the fact that someone could suffer so much and now they were going to have to arrest him.  
As agents with the FBI's behavioral analysis unit, Derek and Spencer were accustomed to dealing with the worst of the worst. They dealt with humanity at its lowest level of depravity on a daily basis.  
And all too often they were forced to face the truth of Carl Jung's statement that, "The healthy man does not torture others – generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers."  
Morgan realized that this was a first for Hudson's team. They were used to dealing with terrorists, bank robbers, and cold-blooded killers, but now they were going to have to go and arrest a young man who had been tortured and abused his whole life and whose victims where themselves abusers.  
The pain evident on their faces tore at Derek's heart.

Jack sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Do you have an address?"  
Tara nodded and handed a post-it to Bobby.  
He read it and his shoulders drooped. "It's about thirty minutes away."  
Jack nodded and glanced at the clock. "Let's get moving. Ryan Jenkins doesn't have long to live."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

It was over.  
Special Agent Derek Morgan let that truth wash over him and drain a little bit of the adrenaline and tension away as he poured himself a cup of coffee. His body was begging for sleep, but he knew that he needed time for the memories of the past hours and days to be pushed to the background before that could happen.  
They were almost too late.

When the agents stormed the old farmhouse where Nate Downing had holed up to carry out his systematic torture and murder of pedophiles, he had already stabbed Ryan Jenkins three times and was more than ready to finish the job.  
One look into Nate's dead, hopeless eyes and Derek's heart had dropped. He knew that talking the desperate young man down would be nearly impossible.

The standoff had grown tenser with every second that passed.  
As Nate raised the knife ready to plunge it deep into Ryan Jenkins' heart; Jack had raised his gun ready to take the fatal shot, and Murdoch had stepped forward.  
Time seemed to stand still and hearts pounded furiously, as they realized how close their youngest had come to being shot by his team leader. With his gun in his holster and his hands raised, Murdoch used his body to effectively block Jack's shot. Within minutes he had accomplished the impossible and Nate Downing laid down the knife.

When Downing and Jenkins had both been arrested and transported a frantic search of the premises for six-year old Cooper Howard began. The night had turned dark before he was discovered in an abandoned outbuilding. Once again, Murdoch Jamison had stepped forward; the only agent able to convince the little boy that it was safe to come out.

Derek sighed and shook the memories from his mind.  
He glanced around the bullpen, surprised to see that Jack was still sitting at his desk. Bobby and Myles had quickly darted out the doors as soon as they were given the okay to leave.  
Morgan had envied the fact that they had a family to go home to. Someone to soothe away the tension and horror. It was no wonder that single agents tended to spend more time in the office than at home even when they weren't working. No one wanted to go home alone after all of the darkness they faced on the job.

Sipping his coffee, Morgan made his way over to Hudson's desk and perched on the edge of it.  
"I thought you would have been long gone by now. You okay?"  
Jack shrugged one shoulder and dropped a mangled paperclip back into the container.  
Morgan followed Jack's dark gaze to where Murdoch, Josiah, Spencer, and Tory were all gathered around Tory's desk.

"Did you talk to him about the recklessness of his actions today?" He asked nodding toward the youngest agent.  
Jack nodded.  
Morgan hesitated. "Did he tell you anything about the reasons behind his behavior on this case?"  
Jack nodded again, his shoulders slumping.  
Morgan sighed. He couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for the team leader to hear that story after reprimanding the young man.  
"Well, I guess that explains why you're here watching him like a mother hen instead of being at home with your beautiful wife."  
Jack smirked and finally raised his eyes to meet Morgan's. "Sometimes I think we made a mistake."  
"A mistake?" Morgan frowned in confusion.  
"By waiving the age requirements and letting him into the bureau and by immediately placing him on this team."  
Jack rubbed a hand over his face. "During the first sixteen years of his life he lost his brother, was abandoned by his father, lost his mother and grandmother, and endured six years of sexual abuse." Jack sighed. "He's two weeks away from turning twenty-four and has been a special agent with the FBI for almost three years. Most twenty-four year olds are just beginning their adult lives, if they're even out of school yet."  
Jack gestured toward the young genius. "And he's spent the past three years catching serial killers, rapists, kidnappers, terrorists, and bank robbers. You know what three years on this job can do to a man, especially once you reach one of the top teams."  
Jack shook his head and dropped it into his hand. "I cannot imagine seeing all of that before my twenty-fourth birthday."

Jack rubbed his eyes. "He's practically still a kid. Were we wrong to put him through all of this?" He gestured around the bullpen.  
Morgan shook his head. "I know what you mean, man. I've wondered the same thing about Reid. He's thirty. He should just now be moving up in the bureau, finally getting rid of rookie status. But he's been in the BAU, seeing the very worst of humanity, for eight years. He's been kidnapped, drugged, tortured. Shot on two different occasions. In the leg and in the neck. The only girlfriend the guy has ever had was murdered in front of him. We all had to listen on the phone while our team leader's wife was shot to death. Our unit chief was murdered. Poisoned. Another team member was forced to fake her own death to protect herself and the team from a terrorist. It was seven months before we found out that she was alive."

Morgan paused. "It's really a miracle the kid hasn't had a complete breakdown. He never really had a childhood either." Derek smirked. "Actually, I think he's had more of a chance to be a kid since joining the BAU then any other time. We've literally watched him grow up."  
Morgan pulled out his phone and brought up an old picture. He smiled fondly at it before handing it to Jack. "I've watched him go from struggling to hold eye contact with us for more than a few seconds to calmly staring down serial killers and terrorists."  
Jack stared at the picture, finding it nearly impossible to connect the young man with thick glasses who was seemingly trying to crawl inside himself with the confident young agent now perched on the edge of Tory's desk keeping her laughing with his tricks.

"We're a family." Morgan continued. "And he's the baby. He's constantly protected, defended, loved, and teased. Your team can do the same for Murdoch. You can give him what he has never had. Give him a family. A safe place to grow up. And occasions to be a kid. Horrors of the job aside, I think he's very lucky to have you. He'll be all right."  
Jack raised his head and met Morgan's eyes. The corners of his lips lifted slightly. "You might be right."  
"Of course I'm right." Morgan winked. "I'm the profiler."  
He grinned. "Now get out of here and go see that beautiful family of yours."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"They're settled and almost asleep again." Jack Hudson whispered as he dropped down on the couch where Sue was curled up with a book.  
He let his head fall back against the cushions in complete exhaustion. "Sorry for waking them up."  
Sue laid her book aside and shifted on the couch so she could read his lips better. An amused smile crossed her face.

"It's fine, as long as we stick to our deal that if you wake them, you're the one who stays up and gets them back to bed." Sue's smile faded as she studied her husband's profile. "Though from the looks of you, you should have gone straight to bed. Did you sleep at all, Jack?"  
"I got about an hour."  
Sue sighed and sat up.  
She slid down the couch to cuddle against Jack. "One hour of sleep in the last forty-eight. And only two in the forty-eight hours before that. So, why did you drag our munchkins out of bed instead of just going to bed yourself?"  
Jack kept his gaze averted away from Sue, but tilted his head slightly so she could clearly read his lips. "I just needed to see them. I needed more than to just kiss them while they were asleep."  
"Jack." Sue reached out and gently turned his head to meet her gaze.  
The haunted look in his dark eyes stabbed at her heart.  
"Honey, what happened?"  
Jack leaned forward and covered his face with his hands.  
Sue rubbed his back; gently massaging out the tension she found. "Jack, what is it? Talk to me, sweetheart."  
Jack sighed heavily and sat back up. "I almost shot Murdoch today."  
Sue's eyes widened in surprise. "What happened, honey?"

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "When we got to the farmhouse Nate Downing had already stabbed Ryan Jenkins three times. We tried talking him down, but we all knew that it would probably be impossible. He raised the knife to stab Jenkins in the heart and I raised my gun to take the shot and…" Jack's voice quavered with emotion.  
"Murdoch stepped in front of me. Sue," He turned to look at her; his dark eyes filled with horror at what could have happened. "He used his own body to block my shot."  
Jack visibly shuddered and Sue gently stroked his back. "What happened then?"  
"Murdoch was able to talk Downing down and we arrested them both. Sue, I could have shot him. I almost shot him."

Though Sue could not hear the devastation in Jack's voice; she could clearly see it in his eyes.  
It broke her heart.  
"Jack, sweetheart, it wasn't your fault. Murdoch allowed his emotions to get the better of him and made a rash decision in the field that endangered his life. We've all done that. Every one of us. Me with Simon, you with the sniper, Myles when he was shot, and Bobby when he ignored the order to wait for backup and went into the club to save Bunny. Murdoch is young; much younger than any of us were. He'll learn to better control his emotions and to trust his team. Give the boy time."  
Sue smiled. "Besides, you could never have shot him. Your reflexes are too good."  
When Jack still didn't smile Sue sighed. "Come on, honey. It's okay."

Suddenly a frown crossed Sue's face as she thought of something. "Jack, how hard did you come down on Murdoch afterwards?"  
Jack shifted uncomfortably on the couch and Sue realized that what was bothering him more than Murdoch's actions were the harsh words he had exchanged with the young man afterwards. She remembered the many times he had cracked down hard on her only to come pleading for forgiveness with sad puppy eyes after the crisis had past.  
"Murdoch will be okay, Jack. He knows you care."  
Jack shook his head. "I don't think he does. Not now. Sue, he…" He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I can't tell you what they are, but he had good reasons for his behavior."  
He shrugged. "I should have seen it. But I didn't. He-he's hurting so much, Sue. And I was so hard on him."  
Sue closed her eyes briefly.  
"Jack, listen to me. The fact that Murdoch talked to you shows that he trusts you. He wouldn't trust you if he didn't know that you care. He knows, Jack. He will be okay. Whatever's going on, we'll get him through it. And Jack, it is not your fault."

"You ready for bed yet?" Tara Manning lifted her head from her husband's shoulder to look up at him.  
Bobby glanced down; his green eyes clouded from the lack of sleep. "Not yet, Tara-Girl. You go ahead, love."  
"Nope." Tara shook her head. "I'm staying right here until you move. I've missed my cuddle Koala-Boy."  
"I've missed you too."

Tara set up and grabbed the remote to click off the TV they had been staring mindlessly at. "Okay. Spill. You are obviously exhausted. You've only had three to four hours of sleep in the past four days. It really shouldn't be possible for you to still be conscious. So, why are you avoiding going to sleep?"  
Bobby sighed and shrugged one shoulder. "You know how it is. There are some cases you don't want to sleep after."  
Tara's eyes softened.

"Afraid of nightmares?" She asked softly.  
Bobby nodded, averting his gaze away from hers.  
"What happened during the takedown, Bobby? You were all pretty shook up."  
He ran a hand through his hair. "Jack almost shot Murdoch."  
Bobby shook his head. "The kid pulled a stupid stunt and nearly got himself killed in front of us by his team leader. Then we had to arrest Nate Downing. I know he's a murderer, but…" Bobby's voice trailed off.  
"I know." Tara nodded. "I can't imagine having to cuff someone who has suffered as much as that guy has. Especially when his victims were child abusers. Come on."  
Tara stood. "Murdoch will be okay. Jack didn't shoot him. You need sleep, Bobby. I'll be there to chase the nightmares away."  
A small smile lifted the corners of Bobby's mouth and he let Tara drag him up from the couch.  
"I love you."  
"Uh-huh." Tara steered him toward the bedroom. "I love you more."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

"I can't believe you spent your day off in D.C visiting bookstores."  
Derek Morgan smiled at the amusement in Penelope Garcia's voice.  
"Hey now, I'm a man of my word. I promised Reid before we left that we would find time to book shop. Besides, he's got his sad puppy look down to a science and I'm a sucker for it."  
Laughter filled his ear and Morgan felt some of the tension leave his body. "But don't you dare tell him that."  
"Are you kidding? He's a genius. Do you really think that he doesn't know that all he has to do is turn on those sad eyes and everyone on the team caves?"  
"I'm hoping. He isn't as good at picking up on things like that. If he ever consciously decides to use that look to get his way, we are in serious trouble. Book shopping wasn't as torturous as I thought it would be and I was able to find some jewelry for Savannah. After about four hours I dumped the two geniuses at a museum and played basketball with Bobby and Jack."

"So, is Dr. Reid holed up in his room now devouring his new treasures?"  
"Actually, he went out with Murdoch, Josiah, and Tory."  
Garcia gave a playful gasp. "Our little bookworm went out socializing when he has new books? What's wrong with him?" The smile disappeared from Morgan's face. "If you'll notice I said Tory went with them."  
"What's that in your voice angel face? Do you not like her?"  
"I like her fine."  
"Uh-huh. Spill. What is it? Is she not good enough for our Boy Wonder? Of course, I'm not sure if anyone ever could be." Derek sighed and closed his eyes. He leaned his head back against the mound of pillows on the hotel bed.  
"It's just after Maeve…" He's voice trailed off.  
"What? Since his first girlfriend was murdered in front of him you want him to be alone for the rest of his life?"  
"No, no." Morgan shook his head. "I just, I just don't want to see him hurt again."  
"Oh, my sweet profiler, none us do. But do you really want him to always be alone?"  
"He's not alone. He has us."  
"Is that enough? Why should he only have us when all of us are finding love? And speaking of finding love, why are you on the phone with me instead of with your lovely Savannah?"  
"We were on the phone. She's at work and had to go."  
"Ah, so I have been demoted to your second choice for nighttime conversation. Morgan, Reid's been through so much. Don't you think he deserves a chance at love?"  
"Of course I do, but," Morgan sighed.  
"You should have seen him today, Garcia. He was like a kid in a candy store. Our first week in D.C and then today were the first times I've seen Reid smile since Gideon died."  
He covered his eyes with his hand. "I just don't want him to lose that smile again."

Morgan glanced toward the open bathroom door when he heard the door to the adjoining room open and close. "That you, Reid?"  
Silence answered him.  
"Reid?" Derek strained his ears and thought he heard sniffling coming from the other room.  
"Baby girl, I've got to go. Something's up with Reid."

Jack Hudson groaned as yet another wave of water splashed out of the tub and landed on his already soaked shirt. He wiped the water from his face and tried to glare at the two giggling boys in the bathtub. But their laughter was contagious and Jack couldn't keep from grinning back.  
Soft laughter came from behind him and he turned to see Sue standing in the doorway. His heart soared at the smile on her face and he winked.  
"Hey, tell these guys to keep the water in the tub. They're drowning me."  
Four-year old Jackson and three-year old Wesley turned their eyes to their mother, wondering if they were in trouble.  
Sue leaned against the doorpost and raised an eyebrow, surveying the messy bathroom.  
"You know guys, I think you missed a spot on Daddy's shirt. It looks a little dry right there." Sue pointed to a non-existent dry spot.  
Matching grins spread across the boys' faces.  
Jack let out a yelp and tried to duck as half the water in the tub splashed on him.  
"Sue!" He spluttered, blindly wiping water from his face.  
Laughter filled the bathroom and Jack turned to his nearly hysterical wife. "Traitor."

The ringing of the doorbell echoed through the house and Sadie came running to jump on Sue.  
"DOOR." Jack signed.  
Sue tossed him a towel. "You take care of that. I'll finish with these guys."

Rubbing the towel across his wet hair, Jack padded to the front door and peered through the peephole. He frowned and quickly pulled the door open.  
Tory Mitchell was standing on the front porch; tears streaming down her cheeks.  
"Tory? What's wrong?"  
Her green eyes took in Jack's wet appearance and she took a step back. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I won't b-bother you."  
"Tory." Jack reached out and gently grasped the young rotor's arm. "You know that you can come to Sue and me anytime. For anything. It's okay. Come on in, honey."  
Locking the door behind her, Jack steered Tory to the couch and gently pushed her down onto it. "What happened, Tory?" "I-it's S-Spencer."  
"Spencer?" Jack frowned in confusion. "I thought you two really hit it off."  
"W-we did."  
"Tory, I'm going to go get Sue. Everything will be all right."

"Sue." Jack nearly collided with his wife as she led the boys out of the bathroom. "Tory's downstairs. She's crying."  
Jack shrugged. "Something about Spencer Reid. I'll get the boys to bed and make tea."  
Sue nodded. She quickly dropped a kiss on each boy's head and hurried down the stairs.  
"Why's Aunt Tory crying?" Jackson asked. His hazel eyes filling with tears at the thought.  
Jack smiled at his son's compassion. "I don't know, buddy. But it's okay. She'll be fine. Come on, we'll pray for her before you go to sleep."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

"Reid?" Derek Morgan nudged open the door to the adjoining room and peered in.  
Spencer Reid was seated on the small couch staring out the hotel window at the D.C night; his thin shoulders slumped with dejection.  
"Kid? You alright?" Morgan sighed when there was no answer and entered the room. He tugged a chair around and sat facing Reid.  
"Hey." Morgan reached out and laid a hand on the younger man's knee. "Talk to me. What's eating you?"  
Reid shifted on the couch and shrugged one shoulder. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Reid." Morgan's voice lowered to the firm tone that never failed to get the young man's attention. "Come on now. It's me you're talking to. Spill, Pretty Boy. What is it?"  
Reid tugged on a string hanging from his shirt sleeve. "I asked Tory out."  
Morgan's gut clenched. "Yeah? What happened?"  
Morgan's brow furrowed. "Did she say why she couldn't?"  
Reid nodded, slinking further down into the couch. "What'd she say?"  
Reid shrugged. "It doesn't matter."  
"Hey, come on, kid." Morgan patted Reid's leg. "Talk to me. What did she say?"  
Reid raised his head.  
Tears hung from his long eyelashes, but he stubbornly refused to let them fall.  
"She s-said she couldn't go out with me b-because I don't believe in God and am not a Christian."

Morgan glanced away momentarily, trying to gain control of the anger that surged through him. How could anyone reject Reid for something like that?  
Spencer Reid was the kindest and most compassionate person Morgan had ever known. Even after eight years of dealing with the worst of evil the kid still teared up every time he talked with a victim or an unsub who had suffered. And just because he didn't adhere to a particular religion Tory Mitchell thought he wasn't good enough for her?

Morgan shook his head in incredulity and turned back to Spencer. He watched as the younger man sniffed and swiped a long-fingered hand under his nose.  
"I-I really thought that it would work this time. S-she made me feel alive and h-hopeful for the first time since Maeve." One lone tear escaped the young man's control and slid down his cheek.  
"Ah, Reid." Morgan briefly closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm so sorry, kid."

"What's wrong with me, Morgan? Why am I never good enough?"  
Morgan shook his head in frustration.  
He leaned forward and ducked his head; trying in vain to make eye-contact with Reid.  
"Reid. Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you. You hear me? Don't do that, kid. There's something wrong with anyone who would think that about you. Tory is the one missing out here; not you."  
Reid squirmed and gave a slight headshake.  
"Hey, hey. Listen to me. There is _nothing_ wrong with you. I will beat that into your head with a two-by-four if I have to. Reid, you are one of the bravest, strongest, and most compassionate people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. And that's not even taking into consideration that great intellect of yours. You could've used that big ole brain of yours for so many things. But you chose to use it to help and protect others; no matter the cost to you. I can't even begin to imagine my life without you, kid. No one on our team could. Anyone who gets to have you in their life is blessed beyond measure. There is nothing wrong with you. You got that, Pretty Boy?"  
Derek tilted his head and this time managed to catch Reid's eye. He threw in a wink; hoping to coax a smile out of his friend.

The sound of someone knocking on Morgan's door filtered through the open bathroom door.  
He groaned. "I'll be right back."  
Standing, Morgan playfully ruffled Spencer's hair before squeezing his shoulder and heading towards his room.

He peered through the peephole and groaned louder when he saw who it was. He contemplated ignoring them, but knew that they wouldn't give up.  
Sighing heavily, Morgan pulled open the hotel room door and glared at the two men standing in the hallway. "What do you want?"


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Bobby Manning and Myles Leland glanced at each other. This was going to be even harder than they thought.  
But they couldn't blame their new friend for being less than friendly. If he or Reid had hurt a member of their team they would have responded the same way.

"I came to talk to you." Bobby said, holding up the two pizza boxes in his hands.  
"And I came to talk to Spencer." Myles spoke up quietly.  
Morgan shook his head. "Not happening."  
"Come on, mate." Bobby stuck out his foot to keep Derek from shutting the door. "We just want to explain."  
"There is no acceptable explanation for that." Morgan jerked his head toward Reid's room.

Bobby sighed and looked over at Myles.  
"Aren't you even curious about how we know what happened?" The tall, blond agent asked.  
Morgan rolled his eyes. "I assume your 'sweetheart' has been gloating about how the nerdy genius thought she might be interested in him." He bit out sarcastically, glaring at Bobby.  
Bobby's green eyes narrowed and his voice dropped to a dangerous growl. "You should know us better than that by now. Is that what you _really_ believe?"  
Derek dropped his head. "No, I guess not."  
Bobby softened. "We're here because Tory showed up at Jack's house crying her eyes out. She cares about him, mate. She is just as brokenhearted over this as he is. Maybe even more so because she knows she hurt him. We're here because we want to help you and Reid."

Morgan studied the faces of the two men he had come to consider good friends and finally nodded.  
Stepping back to allow them to enter the room, he held up a hand before they could come all the way in. "If you hurt him more there will be severe consequences."  
Myles and Bobby nodded; small smiles tugging at their lips at the agent's protectiveness of his colleague.

"Reid?" Morgan called as he moved through the bathroom. "Kid, there's someone here to see you."  
Spencer Reid shook his head. "No, Morgan."  
"Sorry, Wonder Boy Two. I'm not giving you a choice about this. We need to talk." Myles Leland appeared in the doorway; holding a pizza box in one hand and a heavy bag in the other.

"Come on." Bobby peered over Myles's shoulder at Derek and inclined his head back towards the other room. "Myles and Reid can eat and talk in here and we'll do the same in your room. It will be okay."  
Morgan glanced down at Reid. "Reid, I'm going to leave the door open. Anytime you want the conversation to end just call out to me, kid."

Myles studied the young man and his heart twisted at the obvious pain and confusion on his face.  
Since Spencer showed no inclination to move from the couch, Myles tugged the small table over to it and placed the pizza box on it. He lifted the lid and the delicious aroma filled the hotel room.  
Reid showed no interest.  
Myles sighed. It appeared he had his work cut out for him.  
Pulling the chair Morgan had vacated closer to the table, Myles set the bag he was carrying on the floor. It tipped over and the corner of a book poked out.  
Myles held back a chuckle when he saw that Spencer's eyes were immediately drawn to the book; curiosity mingling with the hurt in the hazel depths.  
Apparently books and coffee were the way to this man's heart. Myles filed away that bit of information to share with Tory if they ever got this situation resolved.

"Spencer," Myles broke the silence after finishing a bite of pizza. "Tory showed up at Jack's house tonight extremely upset about what happened. She never wanted to hurt you. She's worried about you. We all are. Jack asked me to come talk to you because he thought that I would understand where you're at better than the others."

A shift in body position told Myles that the young man was listening.  
"You believe in things that can be proven. In things you can see and touch. In science. In testable theories. You don't believe that the existence of God has ever been proven or _can_ be proven. The idea of God doesn't fit with the horror you face every day on the job. You have seen unimaginable atrocities committed against humans in the name of religion."  
Myles paused. "And right now you're wrestling with yourself because you _want_ to be able to believe for Tory, but you can't. You can't erase from your mind the things you have seen. You can't bring yourself to overlook what seems to you to be a lack of evidence. I understand, Spencer, because I've been there before. I would like to tell you my story."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Bobby Manning took a long swig from his water bottle and leaned back in his chair after finishing off his third piece of pizza. He looked across the table at Derek Morgan.  
"So, tell me, Morgan. Do you believe in God?"  
"Why? Are you going to decide I'm not good enough to associate with if I don't?"  
"Come on, mate."  
Morgan sighed and dropped the half-eaten slice of pizza back onto his plate. The tears in Reid's eyes had stolen his appetite. "Honestly?" Morgan shrugged. "I don't know. I did. My parents had us in church all the time."  
Morgan stared down at the table, trying to hide the pain filling his dark eyes.  
"My dad was a cop and when I was ten years old he was killed in the line of duty. I was with him when it happened. I had my hands pressed over the wound and I felt the life drain out of my dad's body. My hero."  
Bobby closed his eyes at the injustice of it all; wanting desperately to take away the pain he could feel radiating off the other man. But he knew that no words could reach that deep of a hurt so he remained silent, listening.

"My mom still took us to church, but not as often. She worked a lot of weekends. It was hard for her, raising three kids in a rough area of Chicago alone. About a year after my dad died, I started getting into a lot trouble. Running with a bunch of older boys."  
Morgan shrugged. "I was looking for something to fill that void. A man who ran a local youth center took an interest in me. He pulled me off the street and taught me football."  
Morgan's body shuddered. "But that _help_," he nearly spat the word. "Came with a very high price tag. Horrible things were being done to me and there was this little rundown church that left its doors unlocked. I went there every single afternoon and _begged_ God to make it stop. And _nothing_ happened. That was when I stopped believing in God."  
Bobby glanced away, tears burning his green eyes. He had no idea his new friend had suffered so much.

"I told that to a priest once that I had to talk to during a case." Morgan shook his head and let out a small snort of disbelief. "He told me that God doesn't lay more on us than we can handle."  
Bobby groaned quietly and shook his head.  
"I told him that His God expected way too much from a thirteen-year old boy. But when we got home from that case I went to a church."  
Morgan shrugged. "I don't know why. I was drawn. I guess I was looking to reestablish some sort of connection. Sounds stupid. Trying to connect with Someone I'm not sure even exists. I turned my phone off and I prayed for the first time in twenty years. When I finished I turned my phone on and I had multiple missed calls and messages from every member of my team."  
Derek drew in a deep breath. "Our tech analyst Penelope Garcia had been shot."  
He shook his head. "First time I prayed in twenty years and one of my friends was fighting for her life on the operating table." Morgan closed his dark eyes, fighting the tears stinging them. "She pulled through with no complications. Something the doctors were not expecting. After that I started wrestling more with the idea of faith. And now,"  
Morgan shrugged. "I don't know what I believe. It's hard to reconcile the idea of God with the things I see on the job." He tilted his head. "But there are also things I've seen happen that just don't feel like coincidences."

Bobby nodded. "I understand, mate. I didn't believe in God for a long time."

Bobby drew in a long breath. "My dad abandoned my mom and me on my sixth birthday. He went out to get cake and ice-cream for the party and just," Bobby shrugged. "Never showed up."  
Morgan closed his eyes. Memories of his father's death still fresh in his mind. He remembered his father's struggle to live and wondered how any father could willingly leave their child.  
"My mom remarried and things got better for us. When I was thirteen we came to D.C for vacation. I had developed a fascination with U.S. history and law enforcement and Mom and Pops saved for over a year to bring me here.  
One morning, close to the end of the trip, I woke up early and my parents were still asleep. I knew they were exhausted, but I really wanted to see the World War II memorial. It was on my list of must-sees and we hadn't gotten there yet. The memorial was walking distance from our hotel, so I decided to go by myself and let my parents sleep."  
Bobby ran a hand through his hair and anguish filled his green eyes.  
"My sister Jade woke up though and I decided to take her with me because I knew she could never stay quiet and that Mom and Pops needed sleep. She had just turned five years old a few days before."  
Bobby drew in a ragged breath, knowing he needed to push himself through the story. "Jade was kidnapped while we were at the memorial."  
Bobby shrugged one shoulder. The despair from years ago still showing on his face. "She just disappeared. The FBI was called in and they tried, but the trail was cold. We went back to Australia; had a memorial service. A week later these missionaries came by the house. Mom told them our story and they prayed with her. Pop and Mom started going to church, praying, reading the Bible, and talking about Jesus all the time. But I wanted nothing to do it with it. I was angry as all get out. So, they didn't push. When I turned eighteen I came to the States for college. Because my father was an American, I became a citizen and joined the Bureau. I wanted to keep other families from going through what we went through. And I wanted to look for Jade."  
Bobby paused and took a drink from his water bottle. He glanced across the table.  
Derek Morgan was leaning forward; compassion showing in his dark eyes as he took in the story. The hostility from earlier had disappeared.

"About five years ago a close friend of ours, Stanley Abbott, was murdered by a group of terrorists in Afghanistan. Stanley was an agent with the NSA. He had helped us on several cases and we had all grown close. He and Tara were seriously dating at the time. The guy bought her an engagement ring, but was sent on a dangerous top-secret mission so he didn't propose. He gave the ring to Myles to give to Tara if he didn't come back.  
Stanley was an amazing guy, but not the type you would expect to do well in field work. He was intelligent. Spoke several languages. And could crack codes faster than anyone I've ever known. But he was small. Slight build."

Bobby ran a hand over his face, brushing away the tears gathering in his eyes. "The guy was tortured beyond what it should be possible for any human to survive. And then they decapitated him. Right after his death, Jack started going to church and Bible studies. And talking about God, and Jesus, and being born again. He said he had drifted away from his faith and now he was going back to it. Returning to his relationship with God. And then the next thing I know Tara and Myles are asking all sorts of questions about God and the Bible. I'm sure you can guess how I felt about that."  
"Mad."  
Bobby snorted. "That doesn't even begin to cover it. Apparently, Stanley had met a soldier in Afghanistan who led him to the Lord. He left letters, and books, and Bibles for Myles and Tara. They became believers and I was suddenly the odd man out.  
While all this was going on we were assigned to review cold kidnapping cases. It led us to a slavery ring which led us to finding Jade. She had been held captive and abused in every way imaginable for twenty years and yet she believed in God. She told me that it was only her relationship with God that had enabled her to survive those years.  
But I couldn't accept that. They all kept telling me that this was something I had to figure out for myself. Jack kept begging me to just look at the evidence with an open mind. I eventually became convinced that everything they had told me was true. But I wouldn't give in. I was just too angry."

Bobby paused as his voice grew shaky. "And then a year after we found Jade, one month after Jackson was born, we were working a drug case. Jack was supposed to stay in the surveillance van because he hadn't been sleeping. I had to go in without a wire or vest. While I was making the deal one of the men recognized me. The dealer pulled a gun and Jack jumped from the van and tackled me just as the guy shot. When I asked him why he said it was because he was ready for eternity and I wasn't."  
Bobby wiped more tears from his eyes and raised his gaze to meet Morgan's. "We almost lost him, mate. He was in a coma for two months. The doctors said he would never wake up. When we were at the ER right after the shooting and Sue came in, I asked her why Jack did it when he had so much to live for. She said that it was because he was ready for heaven and I wasn't. That if she lost Jack, she would know that he was in a better place. But if they lost me, they wouldn't know that. She said that God was trying to get my attention. And that was when I stopped running and gave my life to God."

Bobby leaned forward and studied Derek earnestly. "That's why Tory is willing to lose the chance to be with a man she cares for deeply. This isn't just a religion to us. It's a relationship. It's our whole life. All I'm asking, Derek, is what Jack asked from me. Keep an open mind and consider the evidence."

Spencer Reid blinked back tears as he listened to Myles Leland tell of losing his best friend to terrorists and finding faith and healing in God.  
"Spencer, this is something you have to figure out for yourself. You can't believe just because Tory wants you to. It has to be real. All I'm asking, all Tory is asking, is that you keep an open mind and look at the evidence. I brought you some books to help you. Two of the authors are men who set out to disprove the existence of God, but the evidence convinced them otherwise."  
Myles lifted the heavy bag and slid it across the table to Reid.  
The young man pulled the books out one at a time and stacked them on the table.  
"_The Case for a Creator, The Case for Christ, The Case for Faith, The New Evidence that Demands a Verdict, Cold-Case Christianity: a Homicide Detective Investigates the Claims of the Gospels, Jesus Among other Gods, How to Know God Exists, More Than a Theory: Revealing a Testable Model for Creation, The Signature of God, and Is the Bible True Really._" Reid looked at the stack of books and raised his head to meet Myles' gaze. "Thank you."


	23. Epilogue

**Thank you for reading.**

**Epilogue**

_Four Months Later:_

Josiah Carter yawned as he stepped out of the shower. The hot water had relaxed the muscles he had strained during his night run and he felt as though he could fall asleep standing up.  
It had been a long couple of weeks. The latest case had hit them all hard. A pedophile ring auctioning off young boys.

Josiah sighed and quickly dried off and pulled on his clothes. He paused on his way down the hall toward his bedroom. His ears straining in the quiet of the dark apartment.  
Hearing the sound again, Josiah moved and pressed his ear against his roommate's door. From inside came the faint sound of whimpering.  
"No, don't. Please, don't. Please." Murdoch's pleading voice drifted through the closed door.  
"Murdoch?" Josiah twisted the doorknob, but it was locked. "Murdoch. Wake up."  
The pleading stopped and moments later Josiah heard Murdoch's voice. "Josiah? What is it?"  
"Are you okay? I heard…"  
"I'm fine."  
"Murdoch, please open the door."  
"Goodnight, Josiah."  
Josiah sighed and pressed his forehead against the door. He slid down to sit on the floor and silently began to pray that his tormented friend would find peace.

Derek Morgan opened one eye and watched in amusement as Spencer Reid looked around the jet.  
Seeing that everyone else was asleep, the young man heaved a sigh of relief and tugged over the heavy bag he had been lugging around. He opened it and began placing theology books on the small table in front of him.  
Derek grinned. The kid did nothing halfway.

Still smiling, Morgan stood and quietly made his way over to where the younger man was sitting. He dropped into the seat across from him.  
"Hey, kid. Finding any answers?" Morgan kept his voice quiet.  
Reid's shoulders slumped; his eyebrows drawing together in a frown.  
Morgan longed to ease the burden that was obviously weighing on him.  
"Hey. Talk to me. What is it, Pretty Boy?"  
Reid stared at the table, fiddling nervously with his notebook.  
"It all makes sense." He spoke quietly. Almost too quietly for Morgan to hear.  
Morgan raised an eyebrow. "What makes sense?"  
"Myles asked me to keep an open mind and look at the evidence for the existence of God and the truth of the Bible."  
"I know. And?"  
"And I did. And it all makes sense."  
"You believe?"  
Reid nodded. "In God. The Bible. All of it."  
Morgan relaxed slightly. "Than what's the problem, kid?"  
Reid raised his head; frustration showing on his face.  
"Myles and Tory talked about having a relationship with God. About being saved, born again. I know that's the next logical step, but I don't know how to do it."  
Morgan smiled. "What does the Bible tell you to do?"  
"It talks about repenting, having faith, becoming a new creature."  
"Then that's what you do."  
Reid frowned. "How?"  
"Reid," Morgan smiled. "This isn't complicated. God had to keep it simple for those of us without an IQ of 187. All you have to do is put your faith in God and ask Him to save you. Just talk to Him, Reid. Give Him your life."  
"Right here?"  
Morgan nodded. "Right here."  
"Morgan, are you a Christian?"  
"Yeah. Bobby asked me to do the same thing Myles asked you to do. I reached the same conclusion and Bobby helped me pray a month ago."  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"I wanted to. Believe me, I wanted to. But I was afraid you would feel pressured. I knew that you had to make your own decision for it to be real."  
"That explains it."  
"Explains what?" "You've been different the past month. You haven't cursed. You haven't gone out drinking or to a nightclub. You've been controlling your temper better. Savannah moved back into her apartment even though you're still dating."  
"That's all God, kid. You can pray on your own, Reid. I'll wait over there." Morgan gestured at the seat he had vacated.

Settling back into his seat, Derek began to silently pray as he watched his friend.  
Reid put all the books back into his bag and braced his elbows on the table, covering his face with his hands. Minutes stretched by.  
Finally Spencer raised his head, wiped away tears, and looked at Derek a huge smile spreading across his face.  
Morgan smiled back and made his way back to Reid.  
"How you feel, kid?"  
Reid stood and hugged Morgan. "I feel great! God saved me, Morgan! It's like this huge burden was lifted off me. I feel so light. Like I could float. Morgan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can I go to church with you on Sunday?"  
Morgan laughed and clapped a hand on Reid's shoulder. "I would love that, kid."


End file.
